Lasting
by kaulitz89
Summary: Ella has a crazy run-in with superstar Tom Kaulitz at her local mall. That's only the beginning! Her life suddenly takes off in a frenzy of bad boys,sluts,and relationships. Trying to manage it all, a strange stalker looms in the shadows watching . . .
1. Head Butt

Monday, Mid-Afternoon.

Ŧ Ella.

_This cannot be happening, I seriously must be dreaming. Going on tour for a year with a world famous group and doing what I love to do, this has to be a really good dream. I hope I don't wake up . . . _

I stopped writing and looked at my watch and then glanced up at the changing room door. "Come on guys! How long does it actually take to try on a dress?" I put my hand on the side of the chair and started to beat my nails across it. "Hel-lo? I'm still out here you know!" I am not a patient woman.

I heard a few giggles from the changing room and then I heard the lock click and open. Two girls emerged from the room in hugely designed prom gowns. The red head, Kasterina Leorano, was wearing a blue onsomble with a large amount of sparkles on the bottom and top. The blonde, Sarah Vahnn, wore a fire truck red gown with slinky spaghetti straps holding up a tight-fitting dress. I clapped sarcastically and I smiled with laughter. They both did twirls, showing off their dresses and I smiled.

"You two look so good! They are just perfect for you, really good choices." I said as I gathered their bags as they went back into the changing room.

"I want to see what you would pick out Ells, I mean; you would be in here with us right now if it weren't for Sarah and her dad." I looked up as I heard Kasterina's muffled voice from inside the changing room. I just smiled and then closed my journal on my lap, putting it back into my black messenger bag that I set back onto the floor. Sarah's dad was a record label producer and he was looking for a decent engineer to help out a band for a year, setting up the graphics for the show, the stage and video productions, etc. I was in an advanced engineering technical school that most eighteen year olds have a hard time to get into. I got in when I was in ninth grade.

Sarah, being the close friend that she is, told her dad about me and my 'technically charged mind' and how I can design practically anything. He met with me and asked what I was doing this year. When I replied school he shook his head and told me that I was hired. I graduated from my tech school last year, and I already have enough credits to graduate my high school. He decided to give me a job. I am now the lead engineer for a band that apparently needs one. Mr. Vahnn said that their previous engineer had a little "accident" if you want to call it. Quite funny actually, he burned himself. Not that bad, but he also said that the band was driving him crazy. So now I am assigned to them. Yippee!

"Aren't you going to get an outfit for when you meet them?" Sarah asked as she put the red dress she was just wearing on a hanger as Kasterina was handing her hers on another hanger to pay for them. I stood up and grabbed their bags as she followed them to the counter to pay for their dresses. They both had daddy's credit cards on them, so I knew that if I needed anything I was safe with money.

"No, not really, I was just thinking of wearing something that I already have. I mean, it's not like I'm going to a party or anything." I said as she waved her hand in relief as she watched Sarah put the dresses on the counter and pull out a gold credit card to hand the woman. I thought she bought the platinum one with her today, huh. I watched closely as the woman handed her card back to her.

"Ells, you are going to be seeing these people every day, you are going to be talking with them and working with them the whole year. I thought that you would want to make a good first impression on them." Sarah watched the girl bag up the two dresses, looking as if she were going to pounce if she saw that her dress was torn or wrinkled. I had never really thought about it actually. I mean, I was going to be riding in a separate bus, doing separate things, and staying in a separate hotel room. All by myself. No family. WHOO!!!

But seriously, I had some problems in the beginning because the company thought that an eighteen year old was a little too young to be in charge of the while engineering department, but that's what made it cooler. No one would even think that a dull person like me could have such an awesome job. I was in charge of other people and could order them around with my power!

"Yeah, but I'll be staying in a separate hotel room, separate bus, and separate everything! Do I really need to worry about what they think of me the first time they see me?"

"First impressions are important," Kasterina added with a nod as she picked up her dress off the counter.

"And you don't want them to think of you in the wrong way," Sarah replied as she bent down to pick up the rest of her bags. "Let's go get some coffee, I need caffeine. Bad." Coffee addiction, it's a terrible disease, and it's truly hard to kick, luckily I did last year. We walked through the bustling mall to Starbucks so that Sarah could get her coffee fix.

"Why would they think of me in the wrong way? I am their technical producer; I am in charge of basically everything that occurs on that stage." I pointed at myself to signal that I am the boss of them. Well, not really the boss but the one who does everything.

"You don't want them to think that you are stuck up or anything if you don't talk to them enough," Sarah mumbled as we slowly approached Starbucks. I opened the door before them and ran in to grab a table, letting them get in line and get their iced coffee and sit down next to me.

"Why would they think that?" I asked as I flopped into a chair and dropped my bags next to me on the floor. I've known Sarah Vahnn for about five years now, give or take. Very strong willed and always gets what she wants from everyone. She is a little snotty and rude, and she sticks her nose in the air to other people who think they are right or better than she is. I met her at our local pool when she moved to our neighborhood. Who would not notice a girl with a hot pink bathing suit and Dolce & Gabanna sunglasses prancing around like she owns the place. First time I looked at her all I saw was a big sign on her forehead that said 'High Maintenance'. The you know, "daddy's girl" thing, where she thinks the world revolves around her.

My mom thought it was a good idea to get to know her, and befriend her for the sake of her being new to the neighborhood. Me thinking she is just going to be an 'acquaintance' of mine. Wrong. Turns out she is a little harder to manage than most girls I know. She began controlling me, telling me what to do, who to hang out with, who to ignore. I am sucked in the vortex that is Sarah.

Recently she has started making comments about me or Kasterina, my oldest friend. I just want to snap and tell her what I really think of her. But that would get me fired from my job, and my friendship with her terminated. I honestly don't care about the friendship thing, being her friend wasn't really my idea from the beginning. But it's the part where the, I'm fired from my job thing that is something I really don't want to happen. I'm stuck with the raging vortex for a while.

"Because you think that they'll accept you for who you are, the famous don't really do that. You have to be exactly like them in order to be and feel accepted. That's why we are going to pick out a new outfit for you right after this frappichino." I got up and grabbed my messenger bag off the floor and left the rest of my bags there. That band would have to accept me in my own shoes, not while I was trying to fit into somebody else's. I saw Kasterina look up from her coffee and glance at Sarah, telling me with her eyes to just shake the snobby comment off and continue to be happy.

"Where are you going, you're iced coffee is going to get warm." Kasterina was always a joker, thinking she could lighten the mood whenever it needed some laughter and happiness. I met Kasterina when I was six years old, she moved here from Texas because her dad's company got moved and relocated. She was bright, and she didn't really have a Southern accent, and she always is smiling. We both met Sarah at the pool that day, and her mom thought of the same idea my mom did. To befriend her because she was new. What a mistake that was. Whatever spell Sarah has on me, she has her claws in Kasterina too. Kasterina always did make everything brighter when she smiled and acted like herself. Not when she was trying to follow the pack and acted like Sarah.

"I need to grab some books on pyrotechnics; apparently your dad said that they wanted some on stage." I said as I opened my messenger bag and looked for my wallet, making sure it was still in there. Grabbing it and shoving it into my back pocket, I put the bag in another shopping bag that I got earlier that day. I did need that book, I mean, pyrotechnics with a giant computer screen too? How was me and my team supposed to pull this off without any help? Kasterina swallowed her coffee hard and then she looked up to speak to me, her green eyes wide.

"Make sure you meet us back at the fountain, we're getting picked up at four because I have practice 'kay?" Piano lessons. I took them once or twice before, but I haven't played in the longest time. That was back when I took choir and used to sing. I haven't used my vocal chords in almost two years. I haven't even sung in the shower or the car, I always hummed or did something else. Even if I do know the lyrics. Kasterina is very passionate about her playing. It's kind of her calling card, the way books, engineering and designing is mine.

I remember when we were little and she started to play, I would actually sing along with her and it got better when I started learning guitar. We were quite good, we entered every talent show and family night and played and sang for everyone. But in high school, I just couldn't keep up anymore. My grades, other hobbies and my engineering classes became my life. Once in a while I go to one of Kasterina's practices, just because I like hearing her play and I learn to pick up a few things.

As I walked out of Starbucks, I felt Sarah's eyes burning a hole in the back of my head. I put my hands in my pockets and I turned my headed every which way to try and remember the way to Borders Books. There were so many damn connectors in the mall I couldn't remember which one led where. I was bad with direction, but I could always find my way to a book store. Finally I found it when I checked the fourth and final connector of the mall. It was a good thing that I found it too, people were starting to look at me like I was crazy or some kind of forignener.

The lady greeted me cheerfully and she looked up from her trashy romance novel that she was reading to ask me if I needed anything.

"No, I'm alright. Thanks though." I said as I headed to the little shelf that was labeled, 'Engineering and Careers'. Thank God that they had the signs because I wouldn't have been able to find it. I squatted down in my jeans to look for the book that I would need, since I would have to take it with me on tour to use. They are probably going to think that I'm such an amateur when I use this, I thought as I quickly picked up a book to read the back. It was all about the history of pyrotechnics, not how to actually build a machine to make one. Frustrated and extremely irritated, I slammed the book back on the shelf with a huff. How was I supposed to get anything done on this tour if I can't even find a damn book!

Quickly getting up, I walked to the next bookcase to try my luck again. I shifted quickly through the books and quickly found one that was fairly simple and that had a fair knowledge of the subject. _Pyrotechnics for Dummies was_ not an option here; instead, I went with _How to build Pyrotechnicals. _The authors seemed to have an idea on what they are talking about.

I got up again and walked back to the counter and met the girl reading her trashy novel. She put her book mark in her book while she set it down to ring me up. "Is this all, hun?" She asked happily as I pulled out my wallet from my pocket.

"Yes, it is." I said as I waited for the amount of the book. She bagged the book up and then punched some things into the cash register.

"$10.32" she answered back at me as I looked down at my wads of tens and twenties. I had baby-sat the week before for some cousins who live not too far from me, and I had gotten paid on Friday from my job at the Country Fair down the street from where I live. Overall, I have about 146 dollars to spend when I go on tour, hopefully it will last me a year. I highly doubt it though.

I handed her eleven dollars as she handed me my bag, and I stood and waited for my change. "Here you are, have a nice day." She said handing me my money and my receipt. That lady was way too perky; I think that they give all of the bookstore employee's happy pills, because the atmosphere is so relaxing that they could fall asleep any second. I know I would if I worked here, thank God that I don't! I thought happily as I walked out of the store and back into the busy mall connector.

My mom is a kindergarten teacher, and my dad works at a grocery store so it's not like there isn't money to go around, I just help out a little bit because of Justin and Addam; my brothers. Addam is nine and Justin is four months old, so I do have a lot of responsibilities compared to Sarah or Kasterina do. I got the job at the Country Fair as soon as I was old enough to work, because I was raised to know that money doesn't grow on trees.

Last year when I got my driver's license I had to pay for ownership of my dad's old car, so it was either get a job or lose the car. Besides, I felt like I did owe them something since they were paying for my extra tech schooling that I was getting. I thought we lived in a fairly large size house, and I thought we have a good life and this job of being head engineer on the tour, was going to make my life even sweeter.

The mall was winding down, you could so tell as you walked though the food court. Not as many people were sitting at the tables and not many people were even ordering food. I took the book out of the bag to glance through it a little, since no one was really walking through the mall anymore I thought that I wouldn't really be in danger of getting run over by some avid shopper.

I started flipping through it, slightly skimming the pages of complex theories and blue print scales. I looked up to see if I was heading towards the fountain, thank heavens it was nearly twenty or thirty feet away from me. I stopped, seeing Sarah talking to Kasterina while she was looking in the little groups of people while trying to find me. I could see from their bags that they stopped by a couple stores on their way here, so there wasn't really a need for moving about.

I looked down again, about to have my final skim and wait to start the book on the plane on Wednesday morning. I shut it and stuffed it quickly in the plastic bag, shoving my brown hair out of my eyes as I went. It was so annoying, It was layered, which made it even harder to keep out of my face when I bent down, but I love my shoulder length hair just the same. Picking my head up I started towards them, waiting to hear what line Sarah had planned for me this time.

I didn't even take one step before a hard mass hit me and I toppled backwards onto my back. My head hit the shiny mall floor and my eyes went up to the ceiling, seeing the skylight above me. My bag dropped beside me as I fell and my messenger bag lay limp at my side. At first I couldn't breathe and it took me a minute, but I finally sat up slowly and started feeling my head for any bumps and or bruises that I might have received from the fall. I looked in front of me to see what I ran into and I felt a small gasp in the pit of my throat.

A boy, also on the ground in front of me feeling his head in almost the exact same way I was. He was cute, he looked about eighteen or nineteen and he wore a bright red t-shirt and a bright red hat that matched, totally weird. Not that weird in the bad way, weird in the good way, like I couldn't take my eyes off him. He had dark brown chocolate eyes and he squinted a little as he fixed and adjusted his hats that covered some of his brownish dreads that went to his shoulders. His pants were fairly baggy and his red shirt looked a little too big, kind of that California-style. He also had a bag that was dropped at his side, he must have dropped it too when we smashed together, it was from Hat-World, a store that I hardly went into.

I shook my head in embarrassment, I could just feel my face getting redder and redder as I continued to sit there and look at him. He smiled and chuckled a little, then picked up his bag as he stood up. He brushed off the back of his jeans and his shirt, making sure there was no dirt on them when he fell. I just sat there and held my breath. He looked down at me and extended his hand down to me. He smiled with his eyes, as if they were telling me to just take the hand already. I reached up and put my hand in his and with very little force; he pulled me off of the ground. I stood there for a minute, and then realized my bag was still on the ground and I bent slowly down to reach it, wondering that if I turned my back he would just disappear.

"I'm so sorry; I wasn't watching where I was going." I stated as I came back up from getting my bag. He smiled and laughed a little like it was some big joke that he totally knocked me over and almost gave me a concussion.

"Nein, nein, I wasn't watching where I was going either." My mind just sparked. German accent. Dreads. Lip ring. Ho-ly shit. Tom Kaulitz! I just almost knocked the living hell out of Tom Kaulitz! "So that technically makes it both of our faults." He stated in his adorable accent, trying to be smooth.

"Ugh!" I groaned as I rubbed my now sore back as I looked up at him.

_What?_

"Was?" Tom asked me and I looked up again.

"Nothing." I lied, answering his thick German with my English.

"Okay." I knew he sensed something is wrong. To be honest I was ecstatic but at the same time I wasn't looking forward to this at all. I knew Tom's type. Very flirty, always used to getting what he wants from girls, and I could tell that he also seems very persistent. How I am going to get through this I have no idea, and I can see over his shoulder that Sarah is getting antsy.

"So . . ." I said as I shrugged my shoulders and fixed my messenger bag on my shoulder.

I didn't know what to say. I mean, I don't almost give a concussion to rock stars everyday so sue me if I don't know what to say.

"Ah, you have a bruise on your head, right here." He chuckled and I laughed a little along with him. Oh my God why am I laughing when a cute boy just pointed out an injury on my head? I raised my eyes up as if I was trying to look at my forehead, and he smiled as I reached up to touch the side of my head.

"Nein, nein, its right-" he picked up my hand in his and he moved it to the other side of my head and pressed down lightly. "-here."

"Ow." I said as he pressed down on my fragile head. He laughed and then took his hand off mine, like my hand was on fire and it was really hot or something.

"Maybe we should have someone check that bump out." He asked as I rubbed the side of my head.

"No, no, I'm fine. I'm used to running into things." I said sincerely. I was. High school hasn't exactly made me the most coordinated person since I started at Clearwater Academy. I was knocked into lockers by other kids in the hall and I ran into a door almost everyday. I was suprised that I wasn't in a coma already.

"I'm guessing you run into things a lot?" He asked as he reached up and touched my bump again. I flinched in pain slightly, the bump hurt like hell I'll give him that. His fingers were rough as he touched it ever so gently, trying not to make me flinch again. I opened one squinted eye and saw his face and swallowed hard.

He looked . . . concerned, which made my face hot and my arms itch like hell. Everytime I ran into something or someone in school, they never actually asked or showed any concern for me, they just apologized, asked if I was alright and went on their merry way. No one had ever been this concerned with my well-being before.

"I'm kind of a klutz, so I'm not really suprised that I fell or ran into someone today. It's just this is the first time that a bump like this has ever hurt so bad." I smiled half heartedly at him to try and let him know that I was okay, which I really was.

"Heh, I still think we should have someone check it." He smiled slyly and I smiled back, not knowing what else to do.

"I'm fine." I lied so bad, I should go to hell for lying to the hottest guy on earth. But now I was getting a little frustrated.

"Okay . . ." He started trailing off and I sighed.

"Ella." I felt my bump again and I flinched in pain once more. I looked up and saw a confused expression on his face. It seemed like everyone in my family named their kid a name that started with an 'E'. My cousin's name is Ellie, my other cousin's name is Emma, and my other cousin's name is Elise. Ella is just another 'E' name in my family. I used to get called by the wrong name all the time when I was little. It wasn't like I was bearing my soul, but it felt good telling him my name. I felt important and I felt like someone finally wanted to listen. I shot my hand out and he quickly took it, shaking it gently.

"Ich bin Tom."

I could tell that he took pride in being who he was. He smiled at me and touched the rim of his hat a little, like he was trying to fix it again because he was nervous or something. Heh, little did he know that I was just burning up standing next to him.

"What's the famous Tom Kaulitz doing in a little town like Clearwater? I don't recall a concert being listed or anything at the clubs."

_I was wondering why you hadn't recognized me, though I was glad you didn't._

"Ich frage mich, warum Sie hatte mich nicht erkannt, obwohl ich war froh, dass du nicht," He smiled at me and I nodded, signaling him to continue. "At first. But now, I'm glad I met you . . ." he said the rest in English, obviously realizing that I can speak/understand both German and English. My language at Academy is German, and I used to take French when I was in elementary.

"So . . . what are you doing here in Clearwater?" I asked, wanting him to answer my question.

"Ja, band stuff. I figured while I was here, I might see somethings and go shopping. Bill and I have been here for two hours and we've been walking around and stuff." He chuckled again and I could tell that he had never actually got a chance to just stand and actually talk to someone in a while. A piece of hair found it's way into my eyes and I brushed it behind my ear and as I did I glanced at my silver watch on my wrist. 3:15. I think it's funny how he starts out talking in German and then continues on in English.

"Okay, so I wasn't intentionally targeted and ran over purposely, good to know. So your in Clearwater on business, that's kind of a drag. I mean, this is such a small town, I would think that you would be here trying to get _away_ from business." I said as I shrugged my shoulders as the hair that I just tucked back behind my ear slid into my face again. He laughed and I did too, thinking that this was just a short conversation.

"I guess, we don't really get a chance to actually sit down and just chill like most people get to do, so just being here is a real change for us. Doing band business isn't that bad, and we love doing what we're doing so that makes it better." He shrugged as well and I saw him grip his bag tighter, his hands were getting sweaty. I've always thought of myself as a very observant person, noticing when a person feels uncomfortable or out of place. Tom looked a little stressed, and I probably looked like a fricken wreck just standing there talking to one of my dream crushes.

"Heh, I know the feeling." I sighed and put the stray hair back behind my ear again. He then picked up his arm and started adjusting his hat again.

"Do you want to sit down? Maybe that will make your head feel better." He motioned to a bench and I nodded and walked slowly towards it to sit. He plopped down next to me and I could tell he had something to ask.

"So, how do you know the feeling?" he asked as he sat back onto the bench and set his bag down on the floor next to the bench, and I did as well, crossing my arms over my chest. I was confused, what feeling was he talking about?

"What are you talking about?" He smiled and then blinked a couple times.

"You said that you know the feeling that you never get to just sit and chill for a while, shouldn't you be out doing other stuff? Like partying?" His lip ring moved as he talked and I couldn't help but stare at it a little. Oh, that feeling. With all my extra classes and my practices for my tennis and other sports, I haven't had any real time to just sit and hang with everybody besides Sarah or Kasterina. This is actually the first time I've been out in a while.

"Oh yeah, I've been working a lot lately too. I guess you could say that I'm really . . . dedicated to my job. Plus all the other stuff I have to do, there just aren't enough hours in a day for me. I have no time." I sighed and shrugged my shoulders, I tried to put it as lightly as I could for him. He seems really interested in everything, and he also seems interested in rubbing his free time in my face. Jerk.

"Same here, one minute we're in one country the next minute we're some place else. We never just get a break, you know?" I smiled, I knew exactly what he was trying to explain.

"Do _you_ want to take a break from music?" I asked anxiously, I listened to Tokio Hotel and was an avid fan, so for my sake and the fans' sake I had to ask.

"From music? Hell no, I would never do that. It's a huge part of our lives and I wouldn't give it up. I just meant from like all the traveling, going from place to place. It sometimes gets annoying." He laughed and I did too. I was starting to think that I was smiling _way_ too much, so I covered my mouth with my hand to try and hide my smile and laughter.

"Just checking, your fans would be really disappointed if you did that, I would be too. Your music is . . ." It was hard finding the right word to sum it all up. I didn't want to really tell him how I thought it sounded, cause I thought my explanation was cheesy.

"Our music is . . . " He moved his hands like he was trying to think of a word as well, but he was also anxious to hear me finish my sentence.

"There are just no words to describe it, actually. And I don't think that you want to hear my opinion, I'm not a famous critic or anything so it doesn't really matter." I made sure that the stray strand of hair was safely secure behind my ear, so that I didn't have to worry about it falling in my face again.

"Come on, why can't you tell me your opinion? Is it bad?" His face turned from a happy expression to a worried, intense look in about six seconds. I started to laugh and he smiled again, not knowing why I was so giggly.

"No, no, it's not bad. My opinions good actually, I just can't tell you."

"And why the hell not?'' He asked as he picked up the corner of his mouth into a sly grin.

"Cause, if I told you, I would have to kill you." I felt my face slowly get redder as I said those words. I was being a little too flirty, and I knew it. Tom Kaulitz is one of the biggest man-hunks on the face of this planet in my book. I read in tabloids and online that he is a player and he likes a lot of girls all over. He has slept with many and he just dumps them for none, but those girls are happy, because they were used by Tom Kaulitz. I also heard he has a one night stand every city they travel to. Womanizer.

"Bitte?" He picked up one of his eye brows and I started to laugh a little. I paused, would he just walk away and forget about me? Forget about what I said? Probably, so, why do I want to spill to him so badly?

"Fein, when I listen to your guy's music, it makes me feel . . . like I'm not alone. You know? Like there's someone in the world that feels the exact same way that I do, but they just have the guts to get up and tell people how they feel. It's like there's a song for every feeling. Sad, happy, excited, depressed, it just . . . it all clicks together and makes up Tokio Hotel. The combinations and the guitar riffs used with it, it just makes up the sound that is you. Everything is the way it should be, I haven't heard a song from you that isn't my favorite, and just to say, I probably never will." I smiled as I spoke, it felt good to tell my opinion to someone who actually listened to me.

"See? That wasn't bad, it felt . . . nice to hear. Nobody has ever put it like that before, I mean, fans come up to us and tell us our music is awesome and that's great. But, you're the first person who ever said anything deep about it. It feels very good." He smiled and I blushed, making my cheeks even redder than they were before. I went through the sentence and checked all of his English, he was getting a little better at speaking but he sometimes skips a few words and makes some grammatical errors. But that's one reason why he's so cute, he doesn't know what to say, literally.

"Can I ask you something?" I needed to know, my curiousity was getting the better of me.

"Ja, go ahead."

"Why are you still sitting here and talking to me? I mean, you're _you_. Why are you talking to _me_?"

I was confused, he wouldn't be here just because of my head and I wasn't really pretty so why _was_ he here?

"I can not really descibe it. You're . . . interesting to talk to. I feel like I've known you forever." I blushed and I ran a hand through my hair. This is starting to get interesting.

"Can I admit something too? If you don't mind . . ." I asked again, I felt bad that I was asking a lot of questions but I just had to know.

"Ja. Ist okay." He smiled cutely and I blushed and felt all the blood rush to my cheeks.

"I'm really . . .embarrassed right now. I almost gave you a concussion back there and now I'm sitting here spilling my guts to you about what I think about your music and other things and your just acting like its a casual converstation. I could've killed you!" I was trying to explain it to him as best as I could.

"You didn't almost kill me, it was both our faults. We ran into one another. It feels good to just sit and talk to someone, especially someone as interesting and klutzy as you." I laughed, I knew what he meant. It did feel good to just talk, Kasterina always does and sometimes says what Sarah always tells her to, so its not like I can really talk to her anymore. Sarah, just forget it. It felt nice to just sit here and talk to someone new. Even if that person just happens to be the biggest womanizer on the planet.

"I know, my friends don't really talk all that much. One does what the other tells them to, so I can't really have converstations with them. Then the other is a total drama queen, a real piece of work. I just . . . need a change." I sighed and leaned back against the bench, feeling a little bit more relaxed around him now.

"That must suck, I travel so much I hardly get to stay in one place, but I meet people of all over." He leaned back as well, looking at the ground as he did. Wow, touchy subject.

"You make an aweful lot of girlfriends on those trips too. Try one for every city?" I said sarcastically as I crossed my arms across my chest. It was funny to see the way he smiled and started laughing.

"The tabloids are shit, I haven't slept with over 25 different women. Those people have problems. But they are right, I am not a virgin." I opened my mouth in awe and raised an eyebrow at him.

"Oh and like you don't have any problems? You might have an STD from all those fucking groupies you like to screw and you have a hat obsession. They're the ones with the problems?" I said huffing. But the part about the STD thing I seriously mean, he could be in real trouble in that catagory. That or an unplanned pregnancy, and I feel a lump in my throat when I just think about it.

"Ha, Ha. But Bill would never have gotten Reden if I didn't . . . you know. Ja. " He lingered and then he stopped.

"Wasn't planning on it were you? Probably was masturbating before it happened anyways right?!" I laughed as I finished the sentence for him and made fun a little too. He smiled and then laughed along with me a little bit more.

"What about you, I could make fun of how many men you slept with."

"Just one . . . . It was really nice while it lasted, but I kicked him to the curb a week later. He was messing around with some other chick." I failed to mention the series of one night stands I had after.

He looked down at the ground and then touched my arm a little. "Oh, sorry. I didn't-"

"It's okay, I'm over it now, he was a major ass anyways. But me and a new guy are trying to go out, so I'm interested to see how this is going to work out." I glanced down at my hands in my lap and I intertwined them with each other. It was a little wierd talking about this with him, but I felt comfortable all the same. Thinking about my boyfriend was a little embarrassing, considering who I was telling.

"Name?"

"James."

I met James this past year, he was new and he just transferred to our school. He had blonde hair and blue eyes, the typical dream guy for any high school girl. I met him and we started talking, and then he asked me out on a date. We have already had over four dates this past year, and I really like him. Not that crush like, I mean I don't necessarily love him either. It's difficult to describe. Sarah had her eyes on him for a long time before he even asked me out, but I get the feeling sometimes that he looks at Sarah a lot more than he does me in the halls.

"We've spent over an twenty minutes talking about opinions, music and sex." He stated the obvious.

" . . . ehum . . .so?" I asked hesitantly, not wanting to bother him. I feel like I'm bothering him with my words, even some of my questions or my statements. I just don't want to upset him, I really don't want him to go away or leave.

"I . . . uhm . . . dunno, I'm thinking of something . . ." He said and then he smiled brightly, like an amazing idea had just crossed his mind.

"What's your favorite color?" I laughed as soon as he said it. He just smiled and looked away and then turned towards me again. "Why are you laughing? It's a good question, your favorite color?" I looked and saw that he wanted to laugh too, but he kept it inside.

"I'm laughing at the question. Why is it important?" I stopped laughing and looked at him grinning.

"Because, I think you like blue. You're a blue person." he stated happily.

"A blue person?"

"Ja, a person who likes the color blue."

"Yeah, I do and you look like a . . . red kind of guy to me." I guessed as I looked at his red shirt and hat that matched. Good job Captian Obvious! I really want to internally smack my self in the head.

"Eh, it's a nice color on me. But white looks a little bit better than red does."

"But your wearing red now." Captian Obvious again. God, just stop looking at him.

"Ja, but my white T-shirt was in the wash so that's why I'm stuck with red." Makes perfect sense.

"Oh. That makes sense."

"Okay, now . . . favorite food?" I smiled and thought a little bit. He smiled and waited as I thought and then perked up when I spoke.

"Hmmm . . . toughy . . . I'd have to say . . . A chicken snadwich, from Wendys. Yours?" I quickly thought about the ones I get at Wendy's when we go and it made my mouth water a little.

"Huh, I don't really have one actually. I like all food, Italian mostly. Pizza, spagetti, you know, that kind. But my absolute favorite is pasta." He said as he smiled at me. I never guessed that I would be sitting on a bench and talking to Tom Kaulitz about food, it was actually really funny when you thought about it.

"Huh, that's different. I guess if it came down to it, I would probably have to say that too, but I like all different types of food and I'll try anything." I smiled.

"Okay now, how old are you?" he asked as he turned towards me again. I giggled and he started to laugh at his own question.

''Eighteen going on nineteen in May. Do you need my license and registration, officer?" I laughed and he smiled. He waved his arms in front of him signaling that he didn't have to.

"Nein, nein I believe you. You look like you're eighteen and May, that's only five months away you know." He must have counted this month. January, February, March, April, May. Yep, five months until I hit the big 19.

"Really?"

"Yeah . . . Euhm . . . I actually thought that you were a little older than that." He smiled slyly and I glared at him sarcastically.

"How old do I look exactly?" Stupid boys.

"You look your age, it's just you're a little . . . mature." He said as he adjusted the rim of his hat, he probably noticed my size c's though my shirt. Nice. I was one of the biggest girls in my ninth grade class. Not big like fat, I was only 115 pounds. It was just my chest was a lot more mature than some girls. I was always embarrassed about it but then I started to grow into my body. It's not really a big deal though now, it's just a problem cause some guys talk to my chest instead of my face. Like Tom's doing now. The ass.

"Nice save. Any other questions that I have to answer, or is our little game over?"

"I didn't know we were playing a game, but nein, it's not over." I smiled and nodded my head. He was actually starting to grow on me a little, but I glanced down at my watch and it was getting closer and closer to four and Kasterina and Sarah were still waiting for me.

"Okay, I ran into you, what did you think when you regognized that it was me. " He spoke sincerely and I blushed slightly at the thought of him knowing what I thought.

"I felt . . . Roller Coasters. Like have you ever ridden a really fast dragster, and your heart just jumps into your throat. Then you get angry at yourself because you went on the ride and forced yourself to go through that horrible feeling? Yeah, roller coasters." I like roller coasters, and what I just said exactly desribed what I felt and am still feeling. He is just so full of himself, asking me what I think of him like that. I'm starting to feel irritated and annoyed now. Most guys that I do happen to run into try to pull moves like him. Just they aren't as persistant.

"But I'm suprised, you're a lot more persistant than some of the guys who try and flirt with me." I said skeptically.

"Like a roller coaster, eh?" He put his arm on the bench and he leaned on his knuckle as he spoke, completely ignoring the annoyed and irritated comment that I just made. He won't give up will he?

"Now I have a question for you, is it hard for you speaking English right now?" I had to ask, I mean, English wasn't his native tongue but he was quite good at speaking it. You could still hear the German accent as he spoke, but you could still under stand what he was saying.

"Nein, it's different. I'm so used to my mother tongue I haven't spoken English in a while, but it's nice to do something different." He cocked his head to the side in question and I nodded as I grinned. He was just so interesting I couldn't stop listening to every word he said. How can a person do that? I mean, I just met him no shit like, twenty minutes ago? Already he has me hanging on his every word.

"Yeah, what's your last question because I think someone's looking for you." I said as I pointed behind him to a big bald guy in black with another guy with black hair who was wearing a hat and sunglasses. Bill. He smiled and then got out a piece of paper from his very baggy pant pocket.

"That's Bill and Suki. Ehum . . . do you have a pen?" I smiled and nodded as I reached over onto the floor to get my messenger bag. I searched around inside for a sec and then found a red pen and handed it to him. He wrote down somethings for a minute, then handed me the paper. I glanced down then had a sudden spark of idea, I grabbed the pen back from him and wrote down on the bottom half of the paper, then tore it off and handed it to him.

"My cell phone number. It would be great to hear from you again, call me sometime Ella. If that boyfriend of yours will let you."

"Same here. If those horny groupies don't take up too much of your time." I said as I smiled uncontrolably. With that he smiled and then turned and walked away to Bill who was smiling and waving to him. He said something in German to him, probably about the time or where he was and then I saw Tom turn and wave as they walked around the corner with the piece of paper still in his hand.

I held the piece of paper in my hand for a long time, just trying to recall what had happened in the last two hours. I was talking to Tom Kaulitz and he gave me his phone number. I breathed in and out as I slowly felt the butterflies in my stomach go wild. Wait, wild? I got up to walk to the fountain.

With each step my stomach fluttered and my heart pounded, and I didn't even look at the number yet. Glancing down I looked at the paper for the number. There it was, written in red _504-6620_. I couldn't breathe so I looked down and read it again in my mind. _504-6620. _I walked slowly to the fountain and sat next to Kasterina in a trance, just act like it doesn't bother you at all. You just got his number, so what? Shake it off girl!

Kasterina waved her hand in front of my face, trying to break me from the trance that I was in. "Ella? Ella, what happened to you?" I couldn't speak, my tongue was swelling inside my mouth and my heart was going way too fast. I saw Sarah come over and stand in front of me, and I stared at her as I stopped smiling immidiately.

"Ella what happened? Did you get the book?" I snapped back to reality.

"The book . . . yeah, I did." I reached down at my side, grabbed the Borders plastic bag and reached in and grabbed the book. I opened the front over and placed the piece of paper in quickly and shut it tight, then put it away in my messenger bag. I heard Kasterina giggle and I looked up and saw Sarah rolling her eyes at me.

"She looks sick, oh, Ella you have a bump on your head!" Kasterina put her head to my face and I smiled.

"Why are you so late?" Sarah snapped at me as I stood up. I saw Kasterina's mom waving at us from the other end of the mall where the exit was. Kasterina's mom looked like an older Kasterina. She had natural bright red hair just like her daughter and she had freckles around and across her nose. She was really nice, like my second mom. She was almost like my mom's best friend, they go way back together and they hang out all the time. She is the one who teaches Kasterina to play the piano, and she taught me when I took lessons. I tapped Kasterina on the shoulder and she looked up and me, watching me point to her mom waving at us.

She stood up and we walked right past Sarah, me not answering her question.

"Ella Vexx you answer me this minute, why were you late?" She was getting impatient and she huffed after us as we walked over to Mrs. Leorano, who was picking her car keys out of her pocket.

"I ran into someone and we talked for a while." I didn't want to tell her who it was, she didn't even like Tokio Hotel so why bother. The first time I heard them I fell in love with them. When I tried to expose her and Kasterina to them, she flipped. She trashed their music and their image. Saying she only likes pop singers like Britiny Spears and Vanessa Hudgens, two people I hate. Kasterina didn't really like them but she approved of them, like when you don't like something but your happy when someone else does. Besides, if she knew that Tom gave me his number, she'd flip even more. Just don't think about him. You have no interest in womanizers who act like they're all that and talk big.

"For a while? You were talking for about an hour! Me and Kasterina were looking all over the mall for you." I couldn't take how dumb she was at the moment so I pointed while we were walking to the bench we were sitting on. It only seemed like twenty minutes to me, really an hour?

"Well you didn't have to look far, cause I was sitting right there!" I raised my voice a little, not really trying to. I hated to admit it, but she was really starting to piss me off. All these loud voices were starting to make my head hurt again . . . damn it.

It seemed like I was getting more and more frustrated as we walked with Mrs. Leorano out of the mall exit and into the parking lot. Sarah kept on badgering me about who I met and why I took to damn long. I just wanted to turn around and scream at the top of my lungs directly at her. Thank God we made it to 's mini van right then, because I was actually considering it. Sarah naturally climbed in first, and then Kasterina followed, leaving me to enter last and close the door on the way in.

"So tell us who you met." Sarah started as she buckled herself in the third seat in the back. I reached back for my buckle and strapped myself in with a huff.

"Just drop it, okay?" I said as started the engine and I slowly felt the van purr beneath me as we pulled out of the mall parking lot. We started to make some idle turns, and then we found ourselves on the highway driving.

"Ells, we tell each other everything," Kasterina started as she flipped her red hair behind her ear. I wasn't ready for this, and I didn't want to put up with it. I didn't even want to talk about it with them, they would never understand the unimaginable connection that I felt, and would most likely never feel again. I have to just forget about him.

"Come on, you can't hold out on us forever." Sarah finished as she pushed Kasterina back against the seat so she could look at me. I sat back in the seat and leaned against the window, utterly tired of them both.

"Oh yes, I can, and that's what I plan on doing." I said wishing they would just drop the subject. I mean, what's the point anyways? It's not like I'm going to get another chance to see him again, so why should I bother? Tom is my dream guy, a guy that someone like me could _only_ imagine up in a dream. Like I've been saying to myself, I just seriously need to forget about him.

I glanced over to them in the seats next to me and I saw that they were still trying to think of who I met. Sarah was running of the names of some of our classmates that we hardly knew. Since Kasterina, Sarah and I were such a tight group, we hardly socialized with our other classmates. Only on rare occasions, like if one person is sick or can't make it to school. I have a few other friends that I hang out with, but none are as close to me as Kasterina and Sarah are. We are, unfortunately, joined at the hip.

Sarah just kept on naming people, some I didn't even know existed. Kasterina was coming up with names too, but she was naming some adults like parents, teachers, and celebrites, but she didn't say Tom's name. Sarah glared at me from time to time, like in between one name and another or when I sighed or looked out the window, I felt her eyes on my back.

"You know you can just tell us. It's not like we're going to laugh if you met some loser and got stuck talking to them or anything, we don't judge." Sarah spat at me as Kasterina rubbed her chin trying to think of some more names to throw out at me.

"I don't care, why does it matter to you so much if I tell you? Besides, he's leaving the day I leave so it's not like I'm going to magically run into him again." I did little spirit fingers to accent the word "magically" so I could make my point a little clearer to them.

"Cause, I just want to know . . . I _am_ your best friend, so basically, I have a right to know." She smiled as she sopke, thinking that if she played the best friend card she'd get her way. No chance. I wasn't going to let her walk all over me. I saw Kasterina look down at the floor of the car when Sarah said that she was my best friend. I've known Kasterina longer than her and she knows it. I don't know why she does that, she knows that it makes Kasterina upset. Sarah was always the one who has to do the talking. Kasterina was the type of person who was easily manipulated by others, so whatever Sarah said or told her to do, she did it more often than me. In this agruement, Kasterina was the one who was going to stay quiet and listen.

"I told you to just drop it!" I raised my voice to a level I knew I could have never reached before because my voice cracked a little. I waited for Sarah's reaction to my little outburst and I glared at her waiting for whatever she was going to throw at me next.

"Will you just tell me already?!?" Sarah shouted back at me and I saw Kasterina flinch at the closeness of her mouth to her ear. She just basically shouted into her ear and almost deafened her. I couldn't do this anymore, I couldn't argue with her. She just makes me so frustrated and she is just so damn annoying!

"Fine! Tom Kaulitz! There? Are you happy now?" I shouted at her right back and I turned towards the window and and looked out at the busy traffic passing us by on the highway.

"Who? I've never heard of him before. Is he cute?" Sarah just laughed and smiled, knowing that if she pushed me hard enough, she'd get her way. Again.

"No. You would'n't have heard of him. Just forget him, he's not worth it. Besides, I have James I don't need another guy." I said as I grogily looked out the back window and saw a mini cooper speed pass us on the highway. I'm leaving with the band tomorrow after I meet them. So why should I really bother, and James can call me.

"Come on, there's got to be a way. Lots of people have long-term relationships and it all works out." I looked over to Kasterina, who had finally spoken up in our little quarrel/converstation. I smiled, I had to. Kasterina is always the positive reinforcement between the three of us. It's usually Sarah, throwing orders around to everyone, and me, who rejects those same orders and fights with her. Kasterina is the one who sits on the sidelines and steps in when we are at each other's throats. With her, there could always be a way. Even is there was no hope in the first place, she could always find a little light that would make everything brighter and better.

"Kasterina, there's just no way on this one. I have a job to do and so does he. We won't be able to call or see each other, but thanks for the input." The smile on her face faded and she then looked down at the floor of the car. I patted her on the back and she looked up and gave me a little half-hearted smile, and a look that said, I probably shouldn't have said anything.

Sarah huffed and sat back into the seat crossing her arms and half-glaring out the window at the cars passing us.

"If you can't see or call him, it probably means it's fate. It's obviously not meant to be, that's all." Just right there in the back car seat, my heart vigorously snapped in two. He couldn't have been that interested in me anyways, he's only into pretty girls, not high schoolers who work for a living. I have to forget about it. About everything that we said, what we talked about, about even meeting him. He doesn't matter anyways, I have a job to do.

I put my hand on my chest and turned to look out the window, I looked down at my hand and set it down on my lap. Sarah started laughing and telling us a pointless story about her many boy-toys and how they got into a stupid long-term phone arguement. I looked at her and just wanted to pounce on her and just scream at her until she wrapped her mind around how much of a bitch she was.

I didn't feel like talking to anyone the rest of the way home, I just didn't want to. finally pulled into a ritzy looking neighborhood and pulled into Sarah's driveway. Sarah stopped talking and grabbed her shopping bags and climbed out happily.

"Bye ladies, Ells, call me after you meet the band! Chaio!" With that she got out and slammed the van door and skipped happily up to her giant house, shopping bags in hand. I loved how she could just tear someone's heart out and tear up their feelings, and then just walk away like nothing happened, or like she did nothing wrong.

"Uh, ? Can you just take me home, I still have some last-minute packing to do." I could tell Kasterina was okay with me needing my space after that little talk. Mrs. Leorano looked in the front mirror back at me and I could see her green eyes blink.

"So are you excited? You get to leave for a whole school year huh?" Her southern accent was really refreshing after Sarah's screaming and spatting.

I blinked and I smiled a fake little smile for her. "I'm estatic, it's going to be great."


	2. Phone Call

Ŧ Tom.

"We've been looking everywhere for you." Bill stated as we got into the back of the black Escalade that was going to take us back to our hotel that we were staying in. Even though everyone was kind of upset at me, I didn't really care. They didn't know that I had even met someone, and Bill said that he only saw me with a person, but he didn't have a clear enough view.

"Ja I know, you've said that a million times already." I said as I buckled myself in the back next to Gustav, who was putting his headphones in. I wish I had something that could just take me away from all this bickering and questioning. Although I didn't mind Ella asking me questions, they were just a little different than the questions I was getting asked now.

"You don't need to snap, I just want to know who you were with at the time we came to get you." Bill asked as he turned around in the captain seat while Georg looked at me from behind his seat as well. What, I couldn't talk to anyone I met like a normal human being?

"He was probably talking to a girl or something." Georg said as he smiled at me as I fixed and adjusted my red hat. I didn't really want to tell them about what happened, since they would proabably make me call her, which I probably don't have time to do anyways.

"What's with the fifth degree here?" I shouted as Suki turned on the engine and we sped out of the mall parking lot. I didn't like being under so much pressure, it was bad enough that I had to go and meet some guy who was going to be in charge of all our shows.

It's not that I was worried about the guys or anything, I know that Bill, Gustav and Georg can take care of themselves onstage. I was just curious about the guy that was assigned to work for us, and if he was up on all the modern tech of today. I don't want some old guy coming in and turning our concerts into something from the 60's or 80's. That would be bad. Our graphics need a lot of work, and the guy who switches my guitars between songs is starting to get a little mixed up. Alex Richer, the guy who hired him, said he was supposed to be one of the very best. He had better be.

It was wierd, I can't even think about anything else besides that girl, Ella. It was mind boggling that I could even remember her name, most girls that I meet I just forget who they are after a while. But she was different, her hair looked so soft when she put it behind her ear. Her lips, when she would just open them up a crack were so full, ugh, it's starting to give me chills. She looked very pretty too, her curves were accented nicely by her jeans and her shirt. She was so funny and interesting, just thinking about her and our talk . .

"Tom?" Bill snapped his fingers in front of my face and I fell back into my seat. All the guys were looking at me, worried looks etched into their smooth features. I stared at them with disbelief and they stared back, wondering what the hell I was doing.

"Shit, what?" I asked harshly. Bill laughed and grinned and then motioned to Georg and Gustav to listen in on what I had to say.

"Who is she and where did you meet her?" Gerog asked as Suki turned onto another exit as we continued our way back to the hotel. I stared at them and I gave in, they would have kept asking me anyways, even if I didn't tell them.

"I ran into her at the mall." I said as I thought about our little head butt, it just made me think more and more about her.

"Was she pretty?" Gustav asked as he finally took his headphones off and joined in our little conversation.

"Pretty?!?" I stated loudly, as their eyes all widened at the tone of my voice. "She's the most beautiful girl I think I've ever seen, and I'm Tom Kaulitz I've seen a lot of girls."

"Really? Okay, euhm . . . Augenfarbe?" Bill asked in German as he waited for me to paint him a mental picture of Ella. Hmmm. Let's see here, her eyes were so pretty, they looked like rich dark chocolate. I just wanted to eat her up. Not like, literally eat her up though, just she looked so pretty . . . I wish I could eat her up.

"Brown. They looked just like our eyes, Bill.'' I stated as Bill nodded his head as he finally got one little piece of Ella in his head. It was going to be hard explaining all the curves and features, but I could do it. It was wierd, I felt a little flip in my chest whenever I thought of her or said her name outloud. That's what she meant by roller coasters and I laughed internally as I waited for Georg to think of his question.

"Wohnort?" Gerog asked as I looked up.

"Inverna." I stated plainly, "But she said she was going out of town on Wednsday." Which sucked major ass.

"Ahhh, ehum . . . Haarfarbe?" Gustav asked as I looked out the window and saw that we were finally pulling into the hotel parking lot. It was fairly seculded so no fan girls were in sight, besides, not a member of the press was told about us meeting and/or hiring a new member of the staff. They would have a field day if they knew.

"Brown, just like her eyes." I said as I unbuckled my seat belt and cracked my knuckles, waiting to get out of the car. It was a different feeling, I felt happy. Like, I was really connected with someone else and that we had an invisible chain or ribbon tied to both our wrists. We knew each other and we got along well. This is a good start.

"I think Tom likes this girl." Georg said as he hopped out of the car and onto the pavement then closed the car door. We all were walking back up to the hotel now, and Bill held the door open for me and I went in.

"What girl doesn't he like?" Bill mumbled as to the others as I walked by.

''Name?" Gustav asked as he led the way to the stairs. I ran up and turned around as I walked onto our floor.

"Ella." I stated as I waited for the rest of them to come up the stairs. God, they were slow. I wanted to call her right then, but I needed to be in the privacy of my own hotel room, where no one could listen to us.

"Ah, nice name. Single?" Gustav sometimes gets a little too into the girls that I like, he wonders and asks everything. Hair color, eyes, name, birthday, middle name, favorite food or color, bra size . . .

"Nein, she said she had some guy named James or another, but I can tell that won't last long." I looked behind Gustav and saw that Bill and Georg had finally made it up the stairs. Gustav told them Ella's name and they both 'ooed' and 'awwed' in all the right places.

"Well that sucks, what are you going to do?" Bill asked as he pulled the room key out of the pocket on his black jeans and slid the card into his door. My room was always the one right across from his and then Gustav's and Georg's were next to ours. I pulled the key out of my pocket as well and shoved it into the lock and saw the little light go green, signaling that the door was unlocked and that I could go in.

He stood in his doorway and I could see all this lugage behind him. Bill doesn't know the meaning of the term, 'packing light.' He travels with over ten black suitcases everywhere we go. I usually have two or three and one case just for my caps, but that's just me. I don't usually pack a lot compared to Bill, I basically take three or four suitcases everywhere. Georg, Gustav and I usually pack light, no matter where we go. I looked up at Bill who was still awaiting an answer to his question. What am I going to do?

"I'm going to text. Call me when you're going down for dinner." He smiled and nodded and I saw him close his door. Probably to rearrange or organize his suitcase or fix his make-up. I pulled out my razor out of my pocket and walked to the hotel window. I always asked for a room with a view, that was my only requirement. It felt amazing to look out on the streets of whatever city we were currently staying in. I opened the curtains and put her number into my contact list, and looking through it, I noticed it had a lot of girl's numbers in it.

Do I even call these people? I mean, I hardly have time so, why are they all in here? I had over 120 numbers and I felt like I had to get rid of them because they weren't supposed to be in there. I saw so many Ashlees and Jennifers and Sarahs and so many other girl's names, but I noticed I didn't have a single 'E' name in my whole list. I entered her number in quickly, the thought of talking to her again felt so right.

_Ella-_

_434-1257_

_Contact Saved! _

Yes! Now to get rid of all the other people that I never talk to. I went over to the edge of my bed and sat down, this was going to take a little while.

An hour or two later, I had finally narrowed my 120 all the way down to just 20. It felt good, like getting rid of all sorts of extra baggage that I never did need. Ella was one of my 20, thank God, and I sat on my bed, wondering if I should text her or not. What if she doesn't answer? What if her boyfriend James answers instead? Ohhhhh shitttttt. This was hard. Oh well, taking chances is fun.

I typed her number into the message and started to text, not knowing what was going to happen.

_**Heyy it's Tom, remember?**_ I then pressed _Send_ then I waited a minute or two and I felt my phone vibrate next to me.

_**Heyy Tom. I didn't think **__**you'd**__** remember.**_I laughed and typed in my other message.

_**I always remember someone I ran over**__._ I laughed at my own little message and then I quickly pressed _Send_. And so it begins.

_**You said it was both our faults, so much for that.**_I had to hear her voice, texting was beginning to not be enough. This was wierd, I never thought that I would have to see another girl again just after accidentally knocking her over, and I just met her too. I just, had to take a risk here, a plunge if you will.

_**Listen . . . . I don't know why I feel . . . I just think I should. Ok, I guess it's easier for me to talk this way. But . . . I really want to hear . . . your voice again and I completely understand if you don't want to, don't worry. But . . .would it be okay if I . . . call you?**_

It wasn't easy for me to talk this way. But I pressed the _Send_ button quickly and waited patiently for her to answer my text. I felt my phone vibrate and I knew that she had did what I asked. I looked at the caller ID.

**UNKNOWN CALLER**

I opened my silver razor and put it up to my ear quickly.

"Hello unknown person . . . " I was trying to be my normal self, but everytime I wanted to say something witty or romantic, my throat would close up and I would rememeber that she had a boyfriend. That sucked. Bad.

" . . . hello other unknown person . . . " She said sarcastically, I could tell that she was at home, because I heard a little boy in the background, shouting.

"Ella, Ella, mom said you have to make me dinner!" I heard him shout. It must have been her little brother or something, cause I heard her say, "Alright Addam, I'll do it in a minute, hold off." I laughed into the phone, and waited patiently for her to return.

"Sorry, my little brother's home and I have to make him dinner. So, what's on your mind?" She asked. It was funny, I could actually picture her asking me that, and putting her hair behind her ear as well.

"Would you be mad if I said you?" I asked, even though it was true.

"Not necissarrily, only if they're good thoughts. If they aren't, then yes, I do mind." She laughed with me at her own comment.

"Oh they're good thoughts alright." I chuckled as I heard her laugh over the other end of the phone.

"Pervert." I heard her mumble and I laughed, changing the subject.

"So, how old is you brother?"

"Addam is nine and a half, and Justin is four months old."

"Wow, two? How do you live?" I said.

"Eh, you get used to it after a while. Since I'm the oldest that does mean I have to do a lot though, but it's not that bad. I would have loved to have a twin though." She prompted then giggled a little bit.

"Nein, Bill is okay and he is my brother, but he can be very nosey and a little annoying. But I love him. The best present I ever got is ten minutes after me, it feels like we're one soul, you know?" I stated as I picked my finger nails, awaiting her response.

"True, it can get annoying having brothers too. But Bill is your age, so it's a totally different story. You can connect with him and talk to him about anything, I hope he's the best present you ever got." She said as I got up and walked over to the window to look out over the city. It was pretty dark right now, so all the lights were on in all the offices and important big companies and I could see all sorts of headlights, coming from cars of people who wanted to get home to their families or go out to the clubs.

"You're lucky, don't take them for granted."

"Never." I heard her whisper as I walked over to the window, hearing a low roll of thunder.

The sky was falling, the wind was shaking the trees with harm, the streets were empty and full of leaves, it was a beautiful sight. Where would she be? The town was kinda small, yet, there were so many houses, balconies, porches, and other windows. So many other people who couldn't sleep . . . so many other people with their hearts in their hands . . . was she at her window? Was she staring at the now falling rain too?

I sighed and rested my forehead against the cold glass, and I stared at the drops falling down. Slowly at first, but then they gradually started picking up and I felt them tickling against the glass as my forehead rested contently.

" . . . . . Ella . . . . . Man, I missed your voice so bad . . . . I- . . . I felt like I just needed to hear it."

"You? Y-You . . . did?" She asked in confused tone.

"Ja. A little wierd, huh?" I said plainly.

" . . . . .oh . . . . I see no I totally get it . . . . . .Uhm- . . . . . . so- . . .."

" . . . so . . ."

Silence . . . how I hated it . . . it made me feel so uncomfortable so incapable to keep with a normal conversation. It made me feel I was boring her like I had no idea. Like she was constantly waiting there to hear me say something to her to break the ice.

Yet . . . I'm slowly melting under the sounds of her breathing . . .

"So . . ." she stated again.

". . . God! . . .How its raining outside . . . " me not knowing what to think or say, so I just said the first thing that came to mind.

". . . a-are you . . . Also staring at it by your window?"

"Ja I am, what about you?"

I inched closer to mine. The rain was still falling the wind taking the little drops all over the place. How would it feel to be a rain drop? I touched the cold glass with one hand and began making random circles on it, my breath creating a slight fog and my finger drawing designs in it.

"Yes- . . .Ever since I started texting you and-. . . To be honest I was outside before it started pouring this bad . . ." she said.

"Outside? You mean like, how? Under the rain you mean?"

" . . . . Yes, I was sitting on my balcony I- . . . I needed to clear my mind- . . . and- . . .well what better than rain for it . . ." I started to feel hot. How would it feel to be a rain drop and fall on her skin?

"I- . . . I was . . . I mean, I- . . .am right now staring at it too. I love rain. I love the stormy nights it's just so- . . . it's like, they are so perfect. It's like cold and perfect and it makes you wonder how it would . . .feel to- . . .uhm, you know . . . have someone to-" she continued, until I stopped her.

". . . cuddle with . . . " I said declaring randomly.

"Exactly, I- . . .Hey, can you hold on for a second?" She asked and I perked up, I heard a door slam in the background and I heard her little brother come running in. "Ella! James is here for you!" I sighed, shit, the boyfriend. She hissed and started to talk a little faster than usual.

"Tom? Can I call you back later, I hope you don't mind. This is terrrible, I'm so sorry-"

''Ist fine, take all the time you need." With that I heard the dial tone on the other end of the phone. Shit what the hell did I just do!? I just let the girl that I kinda sorta like hang up on me for her boyfriend!? Am I fucking crazy?

I sighed and looked over at the alarm clock that was sitting on the edge of the nightstand. 8:37 PM. This was stupid, I wasn't even tired and yet I wanted to sleep. Bill haven't even called me for dinner yet, unbelieveable. The only thing that I was looking forward to, was meeting the new guy in two days. That and getting another chance to talk to her.


	3. Confrontations

Ŧ Ella.

Why did James have to show up now when I was having a very interesting conversation? Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit! I put my phone away, then I suddenly picked it out of my pocket then flipped it back open and checked in the recent caller's list.

_Tom _

_504-6620_

_8:28 PM Call Ended : 8:38PM _

I looked at the name I added him under. He was the only person I knew who was named Tom, so I didn't think putting his last name would really matter. I didn't know why, but I just wanted to sit there and look at his caller ID.

Addam came running into the kitchen expecting his dinner since mom and Justin both have doctor's appointments. I quickly picked up the black glass plate in front of me with macaroni and cheese and chicken nuggets on it and I handed it to him without a word. He looked up at me quickly, before running back into his room.

"Thanks Ells, oh, James is in the foyer. He's waiting for you ..." he said as he quickly took the plate and ran back down the hallway to his room. With a reassuring slam of the door, I knew he was already safe in his room. Good.

I had such a headache on the way home about Tom and what Sarah said to me, I already took an Ibuprofen and my head still didn't feel any better. You get the feeling where you want to load up more and more so that the pain would just go away? Yup, that's so me right now, and James wasn't going to make it any better.

I met him about six months ago in my English class. He's a very serious person, who never likes to have any fun what so ever. His type of fun is going to see a play or something. Not really my type, I don't even know how we got to going out. He speaks his mind constantly, not really caring what anyone thinks of him. Or his opinion. Whether it's a piece of art or a book he was evaluating or somebody's outfit they were wearing. He always has to get his opinion in, and it always has to be the right one.

Stupid, I don't even know why I hang out with these people. When I really think about all their faults and what they could do to me if I trusted them enough, I don't think that my reputation would be very safe, not that it is now.

I was on the computer looking up information on none other than Tom. I walked over and looked at my three windows that were open. I rubbed my hair with a towel, like I said to Tom I was out in the rain a few minutes ago. I looked at my tabs. One was Teen Idols, and it had his entire biography listed along with Bills. I'm not trying to be nosey, it's just I want to know a little more about him. I love Tokio Hotel, but I've never really got a chance to learn about Tom's background.

**Date of Birth**

1 September 1989, Leipzig, German Democratic Republic

Okay so he's a little older than me, by what a year? I sighed and quickly scrolled down a little farther so that I could get some info in before James took up all my time.

**Birth Name**

Tom Kaulitz-Trümper

So, his parent's are divorced, his mom remarried too. Interesting. It would be interesting to see what he was like when he was a kid, to actually know him then. I bet that would be a treat, please note the sarcasm.

**Height**

5' 11¾" (1.82 m)

Stupid tall person. I'm only 5' 2, so it doesn't really matter. I kept on scrolling down and I could hear James pacing in the foyer rapidly. Just a little more time.

**Trade Mark**

His dreadlocks.

I smiled at my mental image of Tom with his dreads smiling at me like he did today. I needed to check one more thing, just hold on James.

**Enjoys partying, hip hop, music, girls and graffiti. ** Figures that he mentions girls in this catagory.

**Bilingual: English and German.**

**In my opinion an important part of a relationship and extremely beautiful. - on sex**

**BRAVO: Have you ever said 'I love you "?  
Tom: No, because I have never felt that way ... **Same here here buddy . . .

**BRAVO: Would you leave Tokio Hotel for a great love?  
Tom: I think one thing has nothing to do with each other. Tokio Hotel are the most important thing in my life and every girl by my side should understand this. However, in this period is difficult to have a girl because we are always on the go. **

**She should be extremely spontaneous and funny. I should be able to have an exciting time with her and well, she should have a nice outfit, nice clothes. One should simply be on the same wavelength and of course I should like her outer appearance. - on how his perfect girl should be like**

Figures. All that information right there is telling me not to get envolved with him at all. The part about the sex is interesting though, he constantly show off and talks about how much he's gotten or had compared to the others. Like that little red button that you get told not to push but you push it anyways . . .

My view on sex however, is terrible. There are certain rules to be obeyed before somebody has sex with me at all. Number one they should leave when its over and not leave a number because I will not call them what so ever. Number two I don't care about them. At all. Those two rules comply to all one night stands, which so far in my life I have had four, not counting the guy who was my first. Tom and I probably have this catagory in common more than anything else.

His perfect girl however, is so general. When I read that description I automatically think of blonde, dumb and that show Girl's Next Door. It's all so interesting how his views are so different than most peoples. I closed out the window and went over to the next one, I looked at all the pictures of him that I found.

I'm not trying to be a stalker, it's just that he's so intreaguing. He hardly ever smiles in any photos, he always looks so sad. Most rock stars do that, don't smile when they take a picture to try and look tough. But there's just something about his eyes, they just look so sad. I dunno, I'm fooing myself into thinking these things. I think. I closed out the other windows and got up from the computer. Why am I getting so envolved in this Tom business anyways? He sleeps with girls for fun, he is so not for me. Just get him out of my mind! UGH! I threw my towel on the computer chair in anger, causing it to turn in circles. Stupid Tom.

I sighed and started through the kitchen and living room to the foyer, where James was already waiting on my steps for me. James is the only boy that I really had a serious relationship with, like, _serious_ relationship. It was different, considering the last guy I went out with got what he wanted and then totally left me . . . well, technically I left him, I felt suffocated in that relationship. I was really hoping that James wasn't like that, and so far, he wasn't. But you never know, some guys can put on a good show.

"Hey Ells, why didn't you get my call?" Shit. I sat down next to him on the last step and pulled my phone out of my pocket. What should I say? That I was on the phone with somebody else? Or should I just tell him the truth? Na, I like my first opion better.

"I was on the phone with Kasterina, she wanted to make sure that I was okay after my little thing with Sarah.'' Okay, now I've said a little too much. He's going to ask me a lot more about it now and he's probably going to call Kasterina to make sure. Ugh, I've done it now!

"What did Sarah say now, huh? You gotta stick up for yourself, hun. Or else she'll walk all over you." His blonde wave moved as he patted me on the back and I quickly put my phone down on the step beside me.

"I know, I know, she said something about the people I'm going to meet tomorrow. But I said I didn't really care and stuff, and I do too stick up for myself!" I crossed my arms and I glared at him. Who was he to tell me that I had to stick up for myself, I'm not stupid I already knew that!

"Ella! Can you come here! I spilled something!" I heard Addam yell from the other room. Ugh, I swear, that boy cannot go a second without spilling something or tripping and falling not that I can say that much about myself but still. I looked at James and he smiled and patted me on the back.

"Go, before it stains." He smiled and I nodded and got up and ran up the stairs to Addam's bedroom.

"Addam, go get a towel . . . "I started as I walked into his room and saw he had spilled only water on the floor. I hit myself in the forehead and started laughing. Addam stared up at me.

"Honey, it's only water, it'll be fine. Don't worry, just get a towel and cover it up." He smiled and nodded and I walked out of the doorway and back to the top of the stairs. Looking down, I see James looking through my phone that I left on the step beside me. Shit I didn't realize that I left it there, I thought I remembered to pick it up. I start to walk down the stairs to him and I sit by him again on the step, trying to completely ignore that he has my phone.

"Heh, he spilled only water, it'll dry.'' I laughed as I pretended to realize that he had my phone and that I didn't. "Oh, there's my phone, I was looking for it in my pocket and there it is!" I grabbed it out of his hands and shoved it back in my pocket again. Hopefully he wasn't going through my recent calls, cause he'd see Tom's number at the top.

"My older brother Toby did that once and he flipped out too," He said as I got up to go to the kitchen again. I turned around when he grabbed my wrist and I looked at him, glaring. I never thought that he would be this aggressive, he has never touched me like this, let alone had the balls to grab me.

"I'm going to miss you when you leave ..." He said standing up, still gripping my wrist tightly. He was a little bit taller than me, not by much though, but I still had to look up to see his face. My eyes widened and I stepped backwards a little, trying to break free.

"You won't go running off with another guy, right?" Damn, he did look through my call history. I didn't know what to say, I had never been threatened before like this, at least not by someone this close to me. He thought I was going to run off with Tom, and so what if I did? Not likely though. But he wouldn't have anything to say about it, he can't even speak up when we go through a drive through.

"No, why would you think that?" I asked, trying to stray him off the subject of Tom or any other boy for that matter. I didn't want him to find out, it could crush our whole relationship.

"I just don't want you thinking of anyone else but me, okay?" He chuckled and let go of my wrist. I walked quickly into the living room and bent down pretending to get something out of the lower cupboards. I looked at my small wrist, red marks were around and under my hand and you could see finger marks a little on my skin. He really tried to hurt me, he wanted to cause me pain.

"Ella?"

I perked up immidiately and got up from the lower cabnet. James was sitting at the kitchen island now and was staring at me when I came back up from the floor.

"I just wanted to see if Addam put the dishes away correctly. So that when I open the door they don't all come falling out on me when I open them up later." I said waving my hand in the air, trying to make it like it was nothing. He raised an eyebrow and then motioned me over to him. It took me a minute, but I finally walked over to him and sat down on the stool next to him. He grabbed my hand and put it on the counter and interlocked his fingers with mine and pulled me into his lap. He was sweet when he did these little things, but I just couldn't help but feel the sting in my wrist as he did it.

"I'm really going to miss you . . ." He sighed as he played with our fingers on the counter. I sighed, remembering that I was going out of town in two days. I was leaving for a whole year to be with a band that I hardly knew, and was going to work for them. Leaving everyone I loved and cared about behind, including James.

"Yeah . . . Me too."


	4. ChickFulA

Wednsday Morning

Ŧ Ella.

Okay, waking up early, isn't really my strong suit. I woke up fifteen minutes later than when I was supposed to and now I was rushing around my room trying to find my suitcase and my messenger bag. I was already dressed, wearing jeans and a black t-shirt and a white vest over it. Sarah called me last night and said she ordered me an outfit, and when I got it, I immidiately put it in my case and zipped it shut. I don't know when I'll need a little black dress, but if there is a formal event, I'm set cause there was no way I was wearing that to meet them.

I already put on my black heels that looked like sneakers and I lugged everything down the steps and into the foyer, where my mother was talking to a large man dressed all in black. The thing that I noticed right away was that his head was totally shaved, and when he looked to the left, he was wearing a clear little wire that connected from his ear to a piece in this suit.

Men in Black started playing right away in my head. I quickly scoffed a laugh and went over to my mom and gave her a quick hug.

"I have my cell phone on in case you need me or anything, just call and I'll come home." I said as the bald guy took my suit case out to the black Tahoe that was looking nice and shiny in my driveway.

"Oh honey, I'm not going to need you. Just have fun and be safe, you know . . . just in case . . . " She looked at the floor and my face turned really red. I quickly grabbed her for a hug so that she couldn't finish the safe sex sentence.

"Mom, I don't think James would like that. But thanks for the advice anyways . . . I'll miss you." I said gripping her tighter as another bald guy came in to lead me to the car.

"Ms. Vexx, you're ride is ready. The band and Mr. Richer are waiting at Calipso." The name Calipso immidiately clicked in my brain. It was the famous building in the middle of town that had all the rich clients all around the world, and they sometimes handled million dollar business affairs that someone like me could only dream about.

"Thanks, bye mom. Love you!" I said as I nodded my head and walked out the front door to the driveway. I kept my messenger bag with me, it had all of my carry-on things for the plane too. Books, ipod, sunglasses, earplugs, headache medicine, the works.

I climbed into the back seat as the taller bald guy opened the door for me and I buckled my seat belt and set my messenger bag on the seat next to me. We pulled out of my driveway and I looked through the back window and slowly saw my house get smaller and smaller as it faded from my sight.

The two bald guys in front were quiet the whole way there, speaking nothing except little pieces of small talk that almost made me sick. Finally, they introduced themselves to me an hour into our little ride.

"I'm Ghetty and this is my partner Topher." The bald guy driving pointed to himself and the other guy in the seat next to him as he introduced themselves. Okay, do not laugh at the name Topher. That is the only thing that I could think of, besides the band that I was meeting. I am practically ready to jump out of my seat I am so excited.

''So boys, do you mind me asking about the band that I'm meeting?" I asked as I leaned forward inbetween the two front seats. It was around noon now and we were pulling into a Chick-Ful-A for lunch. We were now in line for the drive through when Topher spoke to me about the band, while Ghetty ordered for us.

"They are really fun, but sometimes they can be a little . . . Ghetty, can't they get a little . . ." Topher didn't have the right words to describe the band, so he looked to Ghetty who just confirmed our order and was going to pull around to the second window.

"Oh yeah, they can get a little wild some of them, but they are really sweet guys." Ghetty pulled out a twenty and rolled down his window and handed it to the acne covered teen at the window.

"Thanks sir, please head to the first window." Ghetty nodded to him and drove forward a few feet to the first window.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, _guys?_ There are no girls in this band?" I asked as Ghetty got our food and handed me a packet of waffle fries and a regular coke. I can't stand that diet crap, the taste is just so nasty to me. I popped a few waffle fries in my mouth and then I looked at Topher who was getting ready to scarf down a packet of chicken strips.

"No way hun, no girls, just guys. Lucky you." Topher said.

"It'll be hard to keep your hands off some of them." Ghetty said as he sipped his Pepsi and then put it back in the cup holder as he slowly pulled onto the highway so that we could get into the city by two.

"Oh, I don't think so." I mumbled as I stuffed another waffle fry into my mouth.

"Oh yeah, the guitarist is a little player and so is the drummer. Beware." Topher stated as he grabbed a napkin to touch up a little bit of ketchup that got on his white button shirt.

"I think I can handle myself, thanks. So you guys work for . . . " I couldn't place it, they either worked for the band or the record label and I was praying they worked for the band. I was getting to like these two.

"We work for the band's manager, thank you very much and we have strict orders not to disclose any information about their idenities to you." Ghetty said as he pulled onto another exit that would take us to Calipso in a shorter time limit.

"Christ, all I asked was who you work for." I said as I leaned back in my seat and looked out the window at the passing cars and blue sky rushing past us as we drove about 70 miles.

In my mind, falling asleep would be a way to pass the time until we actually got to the Calipso; not like stupid 1 and stupid 2 would talk to me the rest of the way. So I did, I closed my eyes gently and waited for sleep to wash over me.

I'm assuming that I fell asleep because a few hours later, I woke up, my face full of leather and my ears now hurting with the sound the the busy city we had entered. The city of Inverna was packed like New York City on somedays, but not always. Today just happened to be a busy business day and I looked out the window, still a little groggy.

The city was beautiful, skyscrapers and tall buildings reached towards the now midday blue sky. I heard car horns and buses and trains passing through as we drove down a busy block completely lined with people. The city was everything that I hoped it would be.

I had been asleep for over an hour and I didn't miss anything, Ghetty and Topher were still hardly talking to one another and I was stuck in the back seat for another half an hour.

"Hey, can I ask you guys something?" I said, wanting to know what to do about Tom. After James left last night I didn't really have a chance to talk to my mom since I had to sleep before I had to get up this morning. I didn't really want to talk about it to her either, considering she would probably say that it was my choice and would refuse to give me her opinion.

"Sure Ms. Vexx whatever you need." Topher said as he pointed out a 'No Turn Left' sign to Ghetty and he quickly turn right on the busy street.

"Please, call me Ella and I know you guys are . . . men and all but I need some advice if that's okay." I don't know what to do so I just had to ask.

"Na, we don't mind. Do we Topher?" I saw Ghetty ask his partner.

"Okay . . . there's a guy I know and I don't know if I really like him, he's known for playing and womanizing and shit, but there's that one little part of me that does have some microscopic feeling for him. Don't get me wrong, he's nice, it's just James is . . . "

"Oh this is interesting, so this guy, how long have you known him?" Topher asked, really getting into the subject.

"Ummmm, I met him Monday actually. But it's so wierd, I feel so close to him, like I've known him forever. He's the type of guy who would do literally anything to get in a girl's pants." I stated as he scratched his chin.

"And this Jake guy, how long have you two been together?" Ghetty asked as he pulled into a back parking lot behind a large glass skyscraper.

"James," I corrected him "we've been together for about . . . six months give or take. But he's been getting . . . rough lately, but I don't know. I still have feelings for him." I sat and looked up at the two, then turned and grabbed my messenger bag thinking we were going to get ready to go in.

"Well, this James guy sounds like no good to me, pick the new guy, could lead to something special." Ghetty turned around and winked at me then got out of the car to open the door for me.

"Na, James is the one with the commitment, you said yourself that this new guy was a player, so why's he even worth it?" Topher got out of the car too, probably to get my bags from out of the trunk.

"I have no idea." I stated calmly.

Ghetty opened the car door for me and extended his hand, just like Tom did when he was helping me up after he knocked me over. For a small instant, I saw Tom standing there, but I quickly shoved that memory aside and took Ghetty's hand and stepped out of the car. I turned and saw that Topher had already grabbed my suitcases out of the car and walked around to another car with my trunks. I swear I did a double take when I looked at the other car that he was putting my bags in, it wasn't even a car, it was a _limo. _Classy. Very classy.

"Ms. Vexx . . . er . . .Ella, whatever you choose, I advise you to be safe." Ghetty said as he let go of my hand and waited for Topher to load the suitcases in the back of the limo. When he was finished, they both walked in front and behind me guiding me to the front steps to the Calipso.

It felt wierd, like I had body guards or something. When we walked through the doors my eyes squinched a little. The glass building reflected all the sunlight from outside and all of it came pouring inside, through all the windows and sunroofs. Ghetty and Topher were lucky, they both had shades on covering their eyes. All the people passing through were either in work clothes or dressy suits, because it was a big day for board meetings. I didn't really feel under dressed, my jeans and black t-shirt and white vest were better than any other suit. All the people that passed us as well, they either knew Topher or Ghetty and nodded and smiled to them, or they said 'Good Afternoon' in a very poilte manner. I never wanted to be one of those stuck up snobs who sit in desks all day, that just wasn't for me. I liked to be envolved with my job, and people have told me that I am very good with a blowtorch.

They both led me to a glass elevator, and I stepped in without a word. Going up was like a killer sensation in the pit of my stomach. Almost like riding a roller coaster, but a little shorter. We were on the 12th floor in no time at all, and the elevator doors slowly opened in front of me.

"Where-" They were both moving into another room, when I thought we were going another way, leaving me in the middle of a lobby.

"We are going to tell them you've arrived, wait here till Alex comes and gets you. We'll be seeing you." Ghetty said as he gave me a little salute, signaling that I would be seeing them in a little while. I sighed and smiled, waving a little bit to them as they stepped through some oak board room doors, leaving me in the lobby, alone.


	5. Meeting and Greeting

Ŧ Tom.

"How long until we meet this guy?" I asked Bill as we sat in the board room, waiting to hear from Alex Richer who was supposed to be introducing us to our new technical producer today. I was sort of testy, since Ella didn't call me back and Bill woke me up early so I wasn't really in the mood for games.

"Alex said he was bringing him in soon, be polite when he comes in will you?" Bill said looking around the room. There was nothing to look at, it is way to bland. The walls are an ugly cream color and the desks and chairs we sat at were the only damn furniture in the room.

"Whatever." I said looking at my baggy pants to try and distract myself.

"Just because that girl didn't call you back Monday night doesn't mean that this guy deserves your pissy attitude." Georg stated as he flipped through another page of a magazine he was reading.

"That's _so_ not why I'm pissy. It's because this guy has been making us wait for like, weeks now.'' I said as I leaned my face against my knuckle on the office seat I was sitting in.

"Now now Tom, be polite when he comes in." Somebody said. I looked up and saw Alex Richer, our manager, walking into the room with a large black folder. Alex always knew what to say and what to do, he was always organized and he had everything ready on time and when we needed it. I couldn't help but wonder what was in that black folder though, I mean just meeting this guy was the suprise, right?

"I will, I will. Now can you tell us a little bit more about this guy, I'm dying to know what he's like." I said as I fixed my oversized pants in the chair as Alex sat down at a chair across from me, folder in hand.

"Ja, please tell us." Bill said as he attentively sat up, wanting more information about our new producer.

"I have his folder right here, now I can read you some things, but the rest you have to ask him, got it?" Alex opened the folder and he looked and sorted through scraps of paper and faxes and lists of phone numbers to get what we wanted. I sat in my seat eager to hear.

"Okay, ummmm . . . .he's 18 and he graduated at the top of his class in his V-Tech school and classes. He's very organized with his work, and he does get very envolved with some of his clients. You know, making sure they know what they want and making sure they get want they asked for down to the smallest detail." Alex said mindlessly as he looked through the folder for more information about our guy.

Okay that's good, 18 . . . we could get along, I guess. He sounds like such a geek, but if he's committed to his job, that means he'll do a good job for us. Okay, this is good.

"What about his social skills?" Georg asked as he flopped the magazine back on the little desk that he found it on, and looked at Alex. Social skills are very important, does he even have any?

"Euhm . . . he is taken, and he is very good with important and higher up people. Like he'll be very polite and he won't be rude when he asks questions. Very good social record." Alex said as he took out a high lighter and made little streeks on the paper that was in front of him.

"How about reviews, client reviews I mean." Gustav asked Alex as he finally decided to join us and our conversation. Good question.

"Uhm . . . clients all said that they wanted him for other jobs, he gets the work done without any problems or complaints."

With that Alex closed the folder and set it on a table next to him. It apparently was time to go get our guy and bring him in. I looked around at everyone next to me. Bill was getting himself ready to meet him, fixing his shirt and straitening his pants and sitting in a more respectful manner. Georg was just sitting, he didn't really seem to care, since he was already presentable enough he was just waiting to meet him. Gustav seemed to zone out again, he was just sitting and staring at the floor, making time pass by.

Me, I'm a wreck. My clothes are just fine, and my pants are on just as loose as they always are. My legs are crissed crossed out in front of me by my ankles, not that you could tell. I drummed my hands against the top of the chair that I was sitting in and every once in a while, Bill or Georg would look over at me and send me a little glare, telling me to knock it off. I did. For their sake.

Alex took a breath. "Everything will be fine."

Gustav mumbled. "But, I can't say he'll be what you expect Alex. He is American."

"That is nice." Georg commented. "At least we can work on our American accents."

"That's not the surprise," Alex said. He walked over to the door and motioned for someone to come in. What we did expect was a man in a suit, but what we got was something entirely different.

She was medium height, brown haired, and most notably, young. I think we all estimated her as being no older than me or Bill. She wore a dark black t-shirt with a white vest over it, jeans, and some converse sneakers.

"Hi guys." She smiled at the band. Though young, her facial expression was strictly professional. We all stared at her dumbfounded.

"Alright boys, meet Mr. Vexx, your new producer for the tour."

I heard Bill gasp in glad shock and even Gustav looked up and saw the sight. It wasn't a guy that was going to be living with us for the rest of the year, it was a girl and a very pretty one at that. Georg's mouth just dropped open and so did Bill's a little.

"Oops, I'm sorry, this is _Ms_. Vexx. Your new producer." I looked over her, eyeing her up and down. Brown hair. Brown eyes. Curves that accented in all the right places. Place the messenger bag on her shoulder.

"Hmph," Gustav grunted. "Why are you so sure you are qualified to produce us?"

"I have the best qualitfications." she said confidently.

"Ella?" I asked as I stood up and walked over to her. She was standing in the middle of the room and we were all kind of staring at her, mouths hanging open. I can't believe I didn't recognize her sooner.

"Tom?" She said turning, finally looking at me. Her voice was the same, and the smile on her face was still there, just as it was when Bill and Suki came to get me. Her eyes were still as dark as I can remember and her hair was still looking as soft as ever.

"What are you doing here?" I asked as I motioned to Bill and everyone else behind me. I just had to know if she was really going to be with us for a year.

"I'm producing your band for a year. Technically, but what I'm really doing is just making sure your stage and graphics and pyrotechnics are all built according to your plans. Alex said you guys needed help with that so . . . here I am." She said. This was unbelieveable, I just couldn't even fathom that I would get to spend all year with her.

"Uehm . . . do you two know each other?" We both looked at Alex and everyone else behind us who still had their mouths on the floor. I fixed my cap and I think I even turned a little pink.

"Yeah, we sort of ran into each other Monday, literally . . . " Ella said as she put another out of place hair behind her ear.

"This could be a problem . . ." Georg said as he rolled his eyes at Ella and me.

"Yes, since you only met Monday, I can understand how you could be excited, but you must keep this strictly professional." Alex stated in his deep voice. Ella looked a little disappointed and so did I. How could I keep this professional?


	6. Coincidence?

Ŧ Bill.

"Ella?"

Tom got up from his seat and walked over to her like he was in a trance. It was a little wierd, seeing the girl that my twin has the hots for, but she actually looks really nice.

"Tom?"

It was a little wierd, especially considering we were saying that she was a guy this whole time. But as long as she could do her job well, then I was all for her. It would also be a new experience having a girl on tour with us, walking with us, going shopping with us. New experiences all around. Fun!

Georg looked over at me and leaned over to whisper something quickly into my ear.

"What do you think? Do you think Tom's gonna . . . " Tom was known for playing girls, I just hope that this girl knew what she had in store for her.

"Nein, she's definately not his type. He usually goes for the more easy ones, not the smart and complex." I commented on Ella's appearance. She looked complicated enough, Tom would never go for her. I am in strict denial.

"Euhm . . .do you two know each other?" Alex asked as we all waited for Tom and Ella's answer. Yes big brother, do you know her? Well?

"Yeah, we sort of ran into each other Monday, literally . . . " Ella said as she put another out of place hair behind her ear.

"This could be a problem . . ." Georg said as he rolled his eyes at Ella and Tom. Yes, this could be a problem.

"Yes, since you only met Monday, I can understand how you could be excited, but you must keep this strictly professional." Alex stated in his deep voice. Tom looked a little disappointed, but then Ella spoke up.

"I agree, I am your tech producer and that only, okay?" She looked at Tom with hard eyes and he nodded slowly, trying to take it all in. That's right, it should only be professional. Pft, ja, like that's really gonna stop Tom.

"Well, if anyone needs me I'll be packing the rest of the stuff into the limo." Alex said as he prepared to leave the room to go down to the limo.

"Wait a second Alex," Gustav said. "We just finished packing our stuff."

"Your stuff, yes." He said. "But not hers."

I felt all our eyes widen at the same time. She was riding in the limo with us?

"You're kidding." Georg said.

She smiled happily. "He's not. Actually Alex, the two men who brought me here already loaded my stuff."

"Then let's go over the final plans and we can have you guys all set out for the resturant in a few minutes!" Alex motioned for Ella to follow him and as she left, she looked behind her at all of us nervously. She seems nice, her personality is very unique . . . I can tell why Tom is hypnotized by her. As soon as they both left us, we immidiately started talking about what to expect.

"This is going to be wierd, I mean a girl here with us she's just a -" Georg was cut off.

"A really nice girl." I snuffed in. She seemed really sweet and I think that we are going to get along just fine.

"Whatever. But for her to sleep in the same bus with us? We've never had a girl stay before. It's always just been the four of us."

Tom rubbed his hands together. "Come on guys, it won't be that bad. She's really sweet and you'll like her once you get to know her."

I laughed at the comment. "You realize there's no way you could get a one night stand with her, right Tom? 'Cause no matter what; she'll be here in the morning."

Everyone laughed except Tom. He usually laughs at all of my jokes, even if they aren't really funny. Something was wrong, something _big_ was wrong. It wasn't like the world was ending or anything, it's just there wasn't something that my twin was telling me. That little prick! Keeping things from his own brother! Well, we'll see!

"Tom, what's up?" I ask and he absently looks at me, then shakes his head, walks to the door and walks out. Georg and Gustav look at me and I shrug and shake my head, signaling that I have no idea whats going on in his preverted little head of his. The twin thing doesn't always work.

"Let's go down to the limo." Gustav said in the awkward silence. I nodded and got up, my bracelets jingling on my left wrist as I walked and swayed my arms.

We walked down the stairs and stepped into the elevator, searching out of the corner of our eyes for Tom, Ella, or Alex. Topher and Ghetty were there too, watiting for us when we reached the ground floor of the Calipso. They led us with smiling faces to the back of the Calipso where we saw the black stretch limo waiting for us.

I noticed that Alex was standing there talking to both Ella _and_ Tom. Figures. Tom has to be everywhere the pretty girls are. They were both nodding their heads in unison and Gustav nudged my shoulder. I turned back to him to find a worried look on his face.

"What do you think he's talking to them about?" Gustav asked as Georg leaned closer to find out what we were talking about.

"No idea, ask when we get in the limo." I said as we approached them and Alex stopped talking and Tom looked up at me. He walked pass me and opened the limo door for Ella and she stepped in, then he followed right after. Probably to get a good look at her ass before she sat down.

The car ride had seemed longer than it really was. Of course, that always happened on nights like these. I could glimpse the sun slowly fading behind the horizon from between the buildings. Each time an orange ray flashed across my eyes, I was grateful for the dark sunglasses that I packed in my pocket and I took them out and put them on.

My hands were in my lap, fingers twined together nervously. I studied my nails, trying to distract myself. The black and white contrast was painstakingly painted, except for a small chip of the black on my left pinky. Frowning, I rubbed at it. It was barely noticeable, but it bothered me. I was very particular about my appearance. There was no doubt that no one would notice it, but I knew I would.

It was a while before somebody finally spoke up, and it was Tom who did.

"So did you know that you were going to produce us?" He asked as he turned to look at her. He was sitting right next to her, while Gustav was sitting on the other side. Georg and I were on the other side of the car, just looking at Tom and Ella.

"No I didn't actually. My friend's dad got me this job, he wouldn't give me any info." She stated shrugging her shoulders, while hair fell into her sweet little face.

"So how old are you really?" Georg asked curiously as he leaned forward in his seat to hear her answer.

"Eighteen I'm turning nineteen in May, just ask Tom, he asked me that same question a couple days ago." She pointed at my twin next to her who was smiling unconrtolably.

"Okay, um . . . have you ever heard of us before you got the job?" Gustav asked as he looked over at her from his seat.

"Yeah, actually. You guys are one of my favorite bands ever, but I'm not an obsessive groupie." She said jokingly. We all laughed and she put her hands in her lap and started interlocking her fingers and unlocking them. She was extremely nervous, I could tell.

"So how did you get this job?" I asked as I became more and more interested in this girl.

"My interests in music and backgrounds actually helped me a lot. Plus, I have a lot of designing on the side that I do." She stated and I nodded.

"Do you play any intruments?" Georg asked as her charm was spreading around the room.

''I used to play piano and guitar, but I quit about three years ago." Tom perked up and I looked over at him. He looked like he found his soul mate, the look on his face was simply priceless. Where's a camera when you need one?

"You didn't tell me you played guitar.'' He said in a hurt voice and she laughed, putting her hand on his shoulder, now more relaxed.

"You never asked. Should've thought of it while we were playing 20 questions."

"20 questions?" Gustav asked. Now I was intreagued, I was starting to wonder how Tom got her to actually talk to him.

"Yeah, when Tom and I bumped heads, he started talking to me and asking me bizzare questions." Bizzare? Like, how wierd?

"To get to know you a little better instead of thinking that you were just some crazed fan." Tom said turing towards her again. As soon as he spoke to her she started smiling, a reaction that I've never seen before.

"Well, it's just no one runs into me, tells me I have a bruise on my head, and then starts having a random converstaion with me." She stated with laughter. I had to laugh a little, and Gustav and Georg joined me as well. Ella started laughing a little while after and then she pointed to Tom's cheeks that were starting to turn a pale pink.

"Oh, look it, the famous Tom Kaulitz 'play boy' is turning pink!" She made fun of him as he put his hands behind his head.

"Oh wow, no one has ever made him turn that pink before!" I said as we all started laughing even more at Tom's now red face. He looked down at the ground and then turned to Ella a few minutes later and smiled.

"Roller Coasters." was all he said and she started laughing. I didn't get it, roller coasters? What's that got to do with Tom's red face?

"What's that?" Georg asking my mental question.

"When I ran into Ella I asked how it felt when she it was me she was talking to, all she said was roller coasters." He said smiling. Ella shook her head and laughed and crossed her legs.

"Heh, you also ignored the fact that I said that I felt irritated too. You were a lot more flirty and persistant than most guys I meet." She said and I heard a 'ooooh' from Gustav and Georg. It was funny, I never saw him this into a converstation before, not with a girl. I always think that he just asks her name and when can they fuck. But he always forgets their names.

''Hey guys, I think we're here." I said as I pointed outside the window to the resturant. The limo stopped and we all filed out, Tom and Ella coming out last laughing, apparently Tom had said something really funny about my outfit or my hair or something like that. OH well.

Alex arranged our table and we all sat down, Tom basically glued to Ella's side. I sat on the other side of the table facing Ella and Tom while Georg sat next to me and Gustav sat on the other side of me as well. We all ordered and the waitress walked away when Ella sneezed rapidly four or five times, she sneezed into the napkin and each time after she sneezed I couldn't help but laugh at her a little.

"I'm sorry, you must think I'm totally rude." She said as she quickly looked up after sneezing for the last time. I actually didn't think she was rude at all, I do that all the time. Besides, she looked so cute when she sneezed.

"Are you okay? You looked kind of pale there for a second . . ." Gustav stated as she blinked a few times, trying to get the tears out of her eyes from when she was sneezing.

"I'm fine, I'm just catching a tiny virus." she stated as she sipped her coke.

"A virus?" Georg asked curiously. I knew what she meant, she thought she was catching a cold. Since she came from outside the city, she must be getting used to the weather.

"Yeah, that's all. It's no big deal." she said as she looked over at Tom who was picking up his spoon and twirling it out of bordom. I just sat and listened, waiting to hear what Georg thought she had.

"Like a disease?" Georg then asked and I scoffed a tiny laugh. Georg had no idea what a virus was, and I was actually very suprised.

"Nein, nein, she means like a cold or something." I said as I pointed to Ella who was nodding her head in agreement. What did he think by a virus?

"Oh, good. I thought that Tom already got to her." At that moment I was taking a sip of my drink and I immidiately spit it out, almost choking on it I was laughing so hard. Ella turned red, and started laughing and shaking her head no, while I saw Tom drop his spoon and start coughing and wheezing on his drink as well, turning equally red as Ella.

"What was that?" Tom asked as he quickly pounded on his chest, trying to stop coughing. Ella just kept on giggling and so did I, it was just too funny.

"Nothing, I just meant I didn't want her to catch any of your strange STDs." Georg said and Ella and I started laughing again. I almost fell off of my chair, and Ella just kept on clutching her stomach she was laughing so hard.

"I do not have any STDs." Tom stated in anger. He didn't want to look bad in front of Ella, but I could tell that she didn't think he had any at all, she likes him and I'm guessing that Tom likes her as well.

"I wouldn't catch them either, cause there would be no way you would be able to get me!" She stated still laughing at Georg's comment.

All through dinner I would catch them exchanging glances and touching the same things at the same time. Like when Tom would reach for the salt, Ella would reach for it at the same time and their hands would touch. Of course she immidiately pulled her hand back embarrassed. It was really cute. They could also talk for hours if you let them, and sometimes, they didn't even talk, they just sat there and stared at each other.

Getting home was just another task, it was already really late by the time we got into the car. We all talked our way back to the hotel that we were staying at and we got Ella settled into her room. Then Tom invited her into his room. Here we go.


	7. Q&A

Ŧ Ella.

Okay, so Tom invited me in, no big. It was suprise just seeing him here today, so I was really used to it all by now. I can't stand thought of James though, it felt like he was watching me from far away.

"Ella?" Tom said as he waved his hands in front of my face. I must have zoned out or somthing.

"Yeah?" I asked as I blinked a couple times and then smiled at him. His room was the same as mine, except mine didn't have my stuff in it. His suitcases were all over the floor and there were clothes on his unmade bed, so we were sitting on the couch instead.

"You zoned out there, have a lot on your mind?" He asked as he leaned back and folded his hands behind his head.

"Yeah, just a couple things. Ever feel like your head is just going to explode?" I asked. His eyes widened and he smiled that little smile that he knew I liked and made all sorts of girls around the world melt.

"Sometimes. It depends what I'm doing." He stated and I laughed. "So, what else do I not know about you? You're going to be with us this year, I might as well start figuring you out now."

"Um . . . my birthday is May 15, 1990. I like reading, writing, drawing, working out, dancing, partying, sleeping, music, and food. Did that cover some of your topics?" I asked as I finished running off my list of things.

"Okay, that helps a lot. Let's see . . .favorite book?" He asked raising an eyebrow.

"Um, I'd have to say . . . This Lullaby. My turn, how about . . . your favorite book? Or have you never read one?" I laughed as I waited for him to answer.

"Heh, let's just say I haven't read in a while. My turn now, favorite thing to draw?"

"People. Anybody, the more interesting looking, the better." I stated.

"Really? Do you do your own work or do you copy?" He asked, now more attentive than ever.

"I do my own work stupid, why would I copy?" I laughed and he smiled joining me.

"I don't know, some people copy other artist's work. I didn't know if you did or not." He stated.

"Well I don't do that. Actually I just sketch and draw a little, it's not like I'm any good." I said sarcastically, trying to make a little point. I'm not really, my parents say I'm good, but I know they always say that.

''I'll have to see your work sometime." He said as I pulled my legs up onto the couch and sat indian-style facing him.

"I have my portfolio, but I don't know if I'd show you." I stated firmly, laughing at his confused face.

"And why not?" He asked and his voice raised.

"Because I'm an amateur. How 'bout . . . I sketch one of all you sometime?"

"That would be cool. Next question! You work out right?" Was all he said and then he picked up his feet and put them up on the coffee table.

"Yeah, I do . . . why is that important?" I asked hesitantly.

"Nein, just because we always go to the beach, just wanted to see if you have a bikini body like I do." He said egotistically. God I just want to smack that grin off his face now.

"I do have a bikini body thank you very much." I stated.

"Okay, you dance, would you be willing to dance at clubs with us?" My eyes got wide. Dance at clubs with them? Well . . . it depends how much stress I need to relieve and if there is a bar at this club.

"Ja, sure. Tell me where the party is and I'll be there, ready and waiting."

"Okay, next question, what's the latest you've ever kept yourself awake?" Does that technically matter?

"Two days in a row. I had somewhere to go and I didn't want to sleep." I giggled. It was an over-nighter somewhere for school. All the Juniors stayed up the whole time drinking Cokes and Mountain Dews.

"Nice, I think you're qualified to be our producer and party with us."

"Good to know. I feel so honored now, will you be picking up horny groupies at these parties too?" I asked sarcastically and I started laughing at my own joke.

"Maybe, it depends."

"Depends on what?" Yes Tom, give me a little peak into your mind.

"Depends on how hot they are, and how wasted I am." Bingo. Just what I suspected. All of those little red flags are going up now, telling me that this is a bad idea.

"Figures." I mumbled under my breath so he couldn't hear me.

"So, are you ready for your first day on the road with us?" he asked as he once again crossed his arms behind his head.

"Yeah, but I have no idea what to expect so I'm kind of . . ." I trailed off, trying to think of the word. I wasn't nervous, but anxious. I wanted to travel the world with my new friends/colleagues. It sounded all so interesting and exciting, I couldn't wait.

"Nervous?" Tom tired to fit a word in my sentence and I shook my head smiling at him.

"No, more like . . .excited. I can't wait to start working on the stages and sound productions, I just can't believe I'm here. It's gonna be great!" I said happily as he smiled and started playing with his lip ring. It was all so intreaguing, I never got anything pierced before besides my ears and my belly button so I had no idea what it would feel like to have a lip ring.

"So when you're with us, you'll still talk to us and stuff right? Cause of what Alex said to us earlier . . ." He made my mind go back to when Alex was talking to us both in front of the limo. He walked up to me and Tom to tell us to keep it professional, we both agreed, unforntunately. I don't really know how I feel about Tom at the moment, and I'm still kind of attached to James.

"Of course, Alex isn't going to tell me what to do. He even told me that I have to live with you guys on your bus until my own crew and bus come. Besides, he technically isn't my boss, you are." I said as I pointed to him before I tucked a piece of my hair behind my ear.

"Me? I mean, us?" I smiled and nodded my head as he continued smiling.

"Yeah you are. He can't really tell me what to do, only suggest what I should do. So I would really only have to _hear_ what he says, but not _do_ what he says." I said smiling. I enjoyed explaining this concept to him. It i

s actually quite fun.

"So I could make you get a tattoo or something like that and he couldn't?" He asked curiously. I laughed, there was no need for a tatoo.

"You don't have to make me go get one, I already have one. And yes, he couldn't." I looked at him and saw him smile.

"Awn, no tramp stamp?" He said as I turned the back of my head to him and lifted up my hair.

"Sorry, no tramp stamp." I stated as I showed him my first tattoo I ever got. It was the word love written in German, 'Liebe' is what it said and it was written in cursive. I turned back around and put my hair back down.

"I never showed that to anyone before, not even my parents. It's the first one I ever got." I stated as he smiled and tapped the top of his blue hat. He was wearing blue today, blue shirt, matching blue hat. Everyday Tom for you.

"I feel so honored, when did you get it?" He asked.

"I was ten." I said as I itched the back of my shoulder as I looked at his suprised face.

"Heh, isn't that a little illegal?"

"No, not if you go to the right person." I stated smiling.

"Who did you go to?"

"My uncle, he used to own a tattoo shop. I never told my mom or anyone about it before. I always kept my hair down and I hardly ever put it up. I didn't want to show anyone." I said as I shrugged my shoulders.

"Why? I mean, why so young?" He asked.

"I could ask the very same thing to you, why the lip ring at such a young age?" I said, feeling better that I finally got him back for my little tattoo. He shrugged his shoulders, he had no idea why.

"I dunno, just something that I wanted. It suits me though, right?" He asked as he raised his eye brows trying to be sexy. It kind of was working, but it would only work if I was really, really, drunk though.

"Yeah, yeah it does." I said laughing. He chuckled and he started to itch the side of his nose.

"So why 'Liebe'? You're not German are you?" He looked curious, looks like I had to tell him sometime.

"My dad is, so I'm technically half. But I got it for my cousin, she died a couple weeks before Addam was born. She and I were really close, and then Addam was born and so I guess I just kind of forgot. I let my mind wander away from it." I sighed a little as I told the story. I was over it now, she died in a car accident, another drunk driver and her collided.

"Ah, that's nice. I mean, that you did that, not that she died. That you did it for her." I smiled.

"I get it." I said giggling.

"So what's your favorite band?" he finally asked after two or three moments of silence.

"Do you really have to ask?" I said laughing.

We laughed like that the whole night. He kept on asking me questions and I kept on giving him answers. I'm usually never this open with someone, but I just can tell him anything. It was already going on 2:00 in the morning and we still haden't stopped talking, we were having way to much fun telling stories and asking each other questions.

"Okay one more question," he asked as he finally settled down from laughing.

"What is it?" I asked quietly.

"How did you get that red mark on your wrist? It looks like it really hurts. . . You're not like those girls who cut themselves . . .are you?" He picked up my right wrist and gently touched the parts that were red still because of James's anger Monday night. I couldn't even believe it was still there, I thought it had already faded away. He looked a little sad, but I just smiled and told him the truth.

"Oh that, uhhh . . . ehum . . . James kind of grabbed me a little too hard, but it's okay, it was just a little sore yesterday. I'm fine. No, I don't cut myself." I said smiling, I didn't want him to be worried, I was really okay. There was no sudden reason to panic.

Tom sighed, "Yikes, that must've been horrible." he said, leaning his elbows on his knees. I shrugged. I lifted up my watch and laughed a little bit, seeing that it was almost two in the morning.

"Wow, we've been up forever." I said, "I should probably get going." I slid off of the couch and walked over to the door, carefully maneuvering my way through the slight darkness. Tom followed close behind me and I opened the door and turned around to Tom in the doorway.

"Thanks for everything, we should talk more often." I said, brushing my hair out of my face. I turned to leave, but Tom grabbed my arm just like James did, except more gently.

"Hey, Ella?" he said. I turned around.

"Yeah?" I replied, looking up at his shiny brown eyes. Tom held my chin with his thumb and forefinger, he leaned down and kissed me lightly on the lips. Short and sweet like a little quick peck, while his lip ring tickled my mouth.

"Bye, Tom." I said breathless after we parted. Tom nodded at me and smiled as I walked down the hallway to get to my room, before I tripped and fell from being so light-headed. I turned around in my doorway and I looked at him.

"Sorry if that was so sudden. I usually never do things like this, and . . . I- . . .I liked talking with you." He said smiling at me weakly. I grinned back, my legs going numb under me from the kiss.

"You don't have to be sorry, Tom. I think . . . for now-" I said leaning in my doorway and looking up at him. "I think we should listen to Alex for now . . ." His smile slowly faded and I smiled weakly, trying to apologize. I closed my door with a deep sigh.

So he does like me. _Great._


	8. Twin Black Mail

Ŧ Georg.

Okay, I was minding my own business and I was coming from Gustav's room, since we had just finished playing a new video game that he had packed. I shut the door and was about to walk across the hall to my room when I see it.

Ella and Tom were in the doorway and I quickly turn around and open Gustav's door, and whisper in.

"Grab the camera, the video camera, quick!" Gustav was sitting on the couch reading a magazine, but when I said the video camera he quickly hopped up and grabbed it off the counter and came running into the hall with it.

Turning it on and setting it to record, we watched them. It was funny, because they didn't even notice us. We had to remain perfectly still and silent, or else they would catch on.

"Bill's gonna love this." Gustav proclaimed as Ella was just about to walk away and I hit him lightly on the shoulder.

"Zoom in, zoom in!"

"Hey, Ella?" he said. I saw her turned around.

"Yeah?" She replied, looking up him. Tom held her chin with his thumb and forefinger, he leaned down and kissed her lightly on the lips. Short and sweet. Perfect.

"Bye, Tom." She said breathless after they parted. Tom nodded at her and smiled as he watched her walk across the hallway to her room.

"Sorry if that was so sudden. I usually never do things like this, and . . . I- . . .I liked talking with you." He said smiling at me weakly. I grinned back, my legs going numb under me from the kiss.

"You don't have to be sorry, Tom. I liked it too . . . but-" I said leaning in my doorway and looking up at him. "But I think we should listen to Alex . . ." His smile slowly faded and I smiled at what she did. Ella:1, Tom: 0. Thats how it should be.

Gustav started laughing and so did I as he turned off the video camera then turned it back on, making sure we got all of their little show on tape. Gustav looked up at me and smiled.

"We got it."

"Come on, let's wake up Bill and show him."

"Now?" he asked while raising his eyebrows.

"Now." I said as I helped him off the floor. We walked over to Bill's room and knocked lightly on the door. There was a five minute pause.

When Bill opened the door, we smiled. His hair was down and messed up from sleeping on one side, and his eyes were drowsy. But what we are going to show him, that'll wake him up.

"You better have a damn good reason for waking me up at fucking two in the morning." he stated sleepily. We both nodded our heads and then Gustav pulled out the camera.

"What did you guys do now? Is it bad? Perverted?" he asked as he looked at the video camera.

"Nein, it's perfect." Gustav said as he handed him the camera. Bill opened it and turned it on, not pressing the play button just yet.

"Perfect how?" He asked again. This was really getting on my nerves. We have footage of his twin moving in slowly on our producer in this very hallway, so that's exactly what I decided to tell him. Yep, that'll answer his questions.

"We have footage of Tom moving in on Ella. Right here in this hallway." I said as Gustav nodded his head and pointed at a little green button on the side of the camera.

"Just press this and you'll see it." he said taking his finger off the button. Bill struggled, but in the end he pushed his little manicured finger down on the button and Tom and Ella popped up on the screen. Ella is going to leave, Tom grabs her, kisses her, then watches her as she leaves, then she says those words that deliver that crushing blow that makes him fall apart. The perfect black mail for any good twin. I can only imagine what Tom's doing now.

"Holy shit. He's never done anything that small, usually it's more drastic. That was actually . . . sweet of him." Bill stated as he handed Gustav the camera back. He stood there and scratched his head for a minute, probably thinking.

"What are we gonna do? Strictly professional, remember? Ja, that's a nein." Gustav asked.

"Let's just leave it, they'll take care of it themselves." Bill said as he shrugged his shoulders and turned to me and Gustav. "Now let me get back to bed."

"Fein, fein. Go on, get your beauty sleep." Gustav said as he went back to his room, taking his video camera with him.

"Yeah, yeah, night." Bill waved as he turned around and went back into his room, closing the door behind him.

What a night.


	9. First Bus Ride

Five days later.

Ŧ Ella.

"So where are we off to?" I ask.

"We need to go to fly to Jacksonville and when we land we are getting the tour bus and heading off." Alex smiles at me, a smile that I happily return.

"So how are you all today?" I ask conversationally.

"I am pretty excellent," Bill says with a grin. I like him. He seems very sweet, even though I just met him. I will get along very well with Bill . . .I think. But it might just be because I just met him. I dunno.

"Yeah. I am good as well," Gustav says. Georg nods in agreement.

"I feel pretty amazing," Tom says. I roll my eyes at him and turn away. Bill snorts at what he says.

"Sorry about my brother. He can be pretty obnoxious and . . . cocky sometimes." He paused, having to think of the word.

"Don't worry about it Bill, I can totally handle him." I say sarcastically and smile at Bill and he laughs.

"Good luck with that," he whispers in my ear.

I lean back in my seat and stare out the window. The buildings rush by as we make our way towards the airport. I can't believe that I am finally going on a tour with them. This is so exciting, I just want to scream and jump up and down.

"Ella, are you listening to a word I'm saying?" Alex's voice breaks through my reverie.

"What? No." The guys laugh.

"I asked you if you had your carry on luggage."

"Oh. Yeah. I have it." I point to my messenger bag, that now contained my cell phone, ipod, a few books and magazines and earplugs and sunglasses. I forgot my headache medicine back at the hotel, but I can always buy some more.

"Good. Well here we are. Lets go. We've got a long flight."

On the plane I sit next to Gustav. He has his earphones on so I am sitting in an aisle seat, talking to Alex, Georg, and Bill.

"So, Ella, Bill. David and I have an idea. If you and Bill agree then the plan will be in full motion." I look over at Bill. His long black hair is not spiked up today, nor is he wearing the black eyeliner that I met him in. He looks me with his eyebrows pulled together, evidently just as confused as I am.

"What is your idea?" we ask at the same time. This makes me laugh before coming serious again.

"The rest of the staff thinks that Ella's job is way too little for her, and we think that it's a good idea if she was the video director and if we put her in charge of a few more things." I nod my head.

"Okay. That sounds cool. I'd be happy to do it, I don't mind at all." I say. We all look at Bill. Tom is now paying attention to our conversation and he and Bill say something to each other in German quickly. Quick enough for me to not catch a single word.

"Let's say I agree, what other jobs will she have? I don't want to work her too hard." I agree with Bill. How would we do this? He is absolutely right, their first concert is tomorrow at the Roxy. There is just no way I can be in charge of too many things, I won't get it all done.

"I agree Bill. She'll probably still be set director and designer, but she doesn't have to put it together we'll hire a team and everything for that. We can also put her in charge of being your video director, taking care of all video related tasks. That isn't too big a job, and we can also put her in charge of a few other things too, like Tom's guitars." Alex says quickly.

"Why do you need my approval?" asks Bill.

"Because your going to be working with her in telling her what you want and how you want things done. You'll be working with her more often than the others." Alex answers Bill. I see Tom frown and pull back, and he turns away, as though this idea is not at all appealing to him.

"I'll do it, I don't mind the extra work. That's what I came here for." I say. We now stare at Bill, and he thinks for a long time before answering.

"Alright. Let's do it. She'll be great!" I smile and hug Bill. Now I definitely see a hint of jealousy in Tom's eyes, and I can distantly see it etched in his smooth face. I quickly let go of Bill, I don't want to be the cause of sibling rivalry. Even though it would be utterly hilarious to watch.

Alex turns forward in his seat, while Bill and Tom begin to talk in rapid German. Georg listens in to their conversation and I see him roll his eyes a few times before joining in. They keep glancing at me, I quickly turn away not wanting to get into the middle of anything.

What are they talking about? My German's a little rusty since I haven't spoken it in almost three months, I'll get better. I hope I didn't start something that could be bad. I put my face in my hands and breathe deeply, and I feel a hand on my shoulder. I look up into Gustav's face.

"Are you okay, Ella?" he asks quietly.

"Wha-? Yeah. I'm okay. Do you mind switching spots with me? I can't sit here. I feel a little sick."

"Of course. I am sorry about them, by the way. Tom gets jealous easily. Just ignore them." I smile at him and he stands up so we can switch.

"Thanks a lot, Gustav. I'm just gonna try and fall asleep." He nods and I rest my face against the cold airplane window. I close my eyes so that I look like I am sleeping, but I stay awake the whole trip to Los Angeles.

When Gustav woke me up, we were parked outside of our new tour bus in the air port, just waiting for us to load onto it. We grabbed our bags and headed out of the plane, while Alex helped me with my bags.

Thank God, we're finally back on the road!" Tom shouted. Tokio Hotel had to cancel their 1000 hotel tour to fix Bill's cyst. Now, they have me with them leading production on their new tour. As soon as I got off the plane my heart jumped from my chest all the way up into my throat. It was big and black and I love the thousand pound thing.

Georg popped his head from inside the bus. "Dudes, you have to check the place out." The rest of the guys was still standing outside packing their stuff into the back. Tom, Bill, and Gustav ran inside while I politely walked in after I loaded my stuff into the back, no help from the guys at all. The bus was new to them so they didn't know what to expect, and neither did I quite frankly, I've never even been on a bus this big.

First off, the bus was about two times bigger than any other bus that I've ever seen. There was a lounge, kitchen area, a fairly large bedroom in the back most likely for me, a beautiful bathroom even though its small, and five bunks for the guys. "This place rocks," Tom sighed, admiring the view.

I heard a knock on the door and turned around. Alex walked in with his cell phone in hand and waved a little hello to us all while we were admiring the inside of the bus. He looked upset, like he had heard some bad news. "Guys, I have to go back to Clearwater, business is getting a little rocky without me. But don't you worry, Ella will be my eyes and ears while I'm gone."

Bill walked to the front of the group. "Okay, I'm sure Ella can handle us." He put his arm around my shoulder and I thought that I heard a low growl from Tom behind me. I looked back and saw him walk into the bathroom and slam the door. I shrugged and walked off to the kitchen.

I didn't get a lot of sleep that night because of that little kiss, I was just up tracing my lips half the night, trying to convince myself that it did in fact happen. I felt guilty the whole night, thinking that I had totally betrayed James and everything I did was wrong.

Stupid boys, so confusing.

We had been on the road for about an hour and I was probably the only one who had been able to make myself comfortable. I sat at a table looking through my cell phone with my legs crossed and was in perfect view of the guys. I noticed out of the corner of my eye that Georg and Bill were checking out my legs, but Tom was the only one actually watching me.

I bit my lip as my pressing of buttons grew faster. At first I didn't notice the guys staring at me until I uncrossed my legs and closed them shut. Georg let out a small moan in disappointment, and I heard this and tuned in to see what was going on. Tom and Gustav pretended to play video games, Georg cleaned his bass, and Bill whistled as he worked on something he was writing. Stupid boys.

I looked back to my cell phone but kept up my suspicions. I saw that Tom grew tired of my typing and dropped his controller.

He got up and walked up to the table. He gave me a glare that said he had lust on his mind. Figures. My head remained in place but my eyes followed him.

"Can I help you?" I asked.

Tom sat next to me, and this just made me a little uncomfortable, since it was in front of the rest of the guys. "So . . . what are you doing?" Tom asked, putting his arms behind his head.

When he said it like he was curious and I looked up at him. Bill perked up his head in curiousity as well, Gustav and Georg watched in anticipation to probably see what he was going to do next. Perverts.

"Euhh, checking to see if Alex gave me any messages, why?"

He leaned in closer. Breathe, you have a boyfriend. "No reason, just wondering. Kinda bored." I know it was just a little kiss and stuff, but it means nothing. I have a boyfriend, be calm.

"O-kay." I shook my head and went back to checking my messages.

"C'mon, Tom." Bill said. "Leave her be." He continued to write.

Tom lifted his arm away from me but didn't get up. "Fein, fein, whatever."

"Tom, I'm sorry. But I try to keep my personal life and my professional life separate. I have nothing really against you, but we need to keep it strictly professional, understand?" Ouch that was harsh. I just totally shut him down. But he really likes me . . . no! No, you must stay strong here, you have a man!

"You'll come back for me, my machine is easy." Your machine? Damn . . . okay, now I gotta admit, that was pretty good.

I smiled at his comment and continued to check my cell phone, I needed to check my messages.

"What are you doing anyway?" Gustav asked.

"I'm checking my cell phone to see if my team has gotten to the concert hall already."

"Team?" Georg asked. "What team?"

"Either yesterday or earlier today, my team was supposed to arrive at the concert hall to start preparing the stage for tomorrow. The team will help me with all our design plans and all of the sound checks. I'm suprised they hired four or six guys just for me."

"So the team will help you put together our stage?" Bill asked.

"Exactly. Not only that, but they will be helping with sound checks, rehersals, lighting and graphics, the works."

"Wow. I guess it would be a good idea to have a team. When are they supposed to be here?"

"Still working on that. I checked and they haven't gotten there yet, they say they are going to be there either early tomorrow morning or later tonight. So, we have until around later tomorrow night. I like to think of it as, quick party hours before the tour actually 'starts'."

Bill and Gustav clapped hands with each other at this news. Tom on the other hand, didn't for some reason want to party and said he just felt like staying in the bus. Whatever, his choice, but it was kind of suspicious.

After a while it started to get dark and everyone changed. The guys wore t-shirts and old pajama pants. Well, all except Tom. He went shirtless in an effort to impress me, it didn't really work. Unfortunately the effect was reverse. It turned out that I caught ALL the guys' eyes. They are all perverts, I'm telling you, deep, deep down.

I came out of the changing room wearing a thin tank top along with a pair of shorts, the bus was getting way to hot and cramped for me. I walked into the room and didn't realize how they were staring at me. I got the book out that I got from the bookstore and was about to sit down with it when Tom came up behind me and snatched it right out of my hands. I tried to reach it, but he kept on holding it up higher and higher.

"I'll trade you for it." Tom said as he smiled and watched me try and reach the book again.

I stopped trying to reach and gave up will. "Trade me with what? What do you want?"

"It isn't something you can just hand over."

"Tom," I crossed my arms, "I'm not going to fuck you." Not unless you ask me politely. Wait, did I just think that? Oh, god, something must be wrong with me.

He put his free hand against his heart and gave a sarcastic: "Oh that hurt so much! All I want is a little kiss," I raised my eyebrow. "Just a little one, on the cheek. That's it."

I gave a sly smile. I leaned over and placed my hand on his bare shoulder. I leaned over and placed my lips mere inches from his ear. I slowly lowered my hand down his smooth arm, the one without the book and whispered. "You know I have a better idea." He lowered the arm with my book in it as chills went down his back. "Would you like to know what it is?" He lowered his arm all the way. This was too easy.

"Uh-huh."

I quickly snatched it back from his hands and smiled.

"I'm going to read my novel in peace." I now had the book in my hands as Gustav, Georg, and Bill gave a bundle of "ooos" and further humiliated Tom.

I went and laid in my bed which was directly under Gustav's, for about fifteen minutes reading the book that I retrieved from Tom so very cunningly. I finally looked up and saw Bill staring at me from the table.

"Hello?" De ja vu.

The boys went back to their own business as I stared at them. "What?" They shook their heads, signaling that nothing was wrong.

"Okay, just a little wierd."

I noticed that the guys were all still wide awake. "You aren't going to sleep?" I glanced at the clock on the mirowave

"We're good. We usually just sit around until three. The only difference is that Tom usually wears a shirt." Gustav would have said more, but Tom smacked him in the head. "Ow."

"You know what guys." Bill said. "I think I'm going to head to bed too."

He walked over to his bed and laid there, slowly falling asleep. I just shrugged my shoulders and went on reading my book.

Whatever.


	10. Empty Words

Next Morning.

Ŧ Ella.

I wake up and there is no one else up. We are driving in the tour bus on our way back to Clearwater, the trip will be over later this evening, and then our first concert in Miami tomorrow. I realized that only Gustav had already been awake, he was preparing a cup of coffee as he watched TV. I quickly greeted him as I brushed my hair and started going through messages on my phone. During the time Gustav and I talked about plans for the band's stage theme and the future of the tour's technical options, Gustav wanted a strobe light that whenever he played or hit a certain drum, the light would go off. He also commented on how it was nice to finally have someone who woke up early enough for him to share a conversation with.

I grab a box of Cheerio's and a carton of milk. I search for a clean bowl, but there are none, so I grab a cup and content myself by eating my cereal out of it, when I finish eating I walk up to the front of the bus.

"Morning Ron," I said to our bus driver. Typical guy, normal looking middle aged, with a wife and three daughters. All younger than eight.

"Good Morning Ella."

"Can I get you anything?" I asked.

"You are always so nice. I sure wouldn't say no to a cup of coffee." I laugh.

"Alright Ron, I'll make some now." I walk back to the kitchen area and turn on the coffee pot. Then I turn on the tap and begin to fill the sink with hot, soapy water. I wash the dishes and put them on the drying rack, at least the others can eat out of a bowl, even if I can't. I pour two mugs of coffee and walk back up to the front.

"Here you are Ron," I say, handing him a mug of coffee with milk and two sugars, while I sip my own black coffee.

"Many thanks, Ella." He gulps some down.

"No problem," I said. "See you later." He nods and I walk to sit down at the table, looking through my pyrotechnics book and staring at my coffee.

I look up when Tom comes into the room, his dreadlocks hanging limply around his face and I try to hold back a laugh.

"Good morning sunshine," I said.

"Morning. Is there any coffee left?"

"Yeah. It's in the pot."

"Thanks." Tom and me have been unusually polite to each other. They are mostly about random things, like what breakfast cereal there is and whether or not we slept well and other things.

I watch Tom as he grabbed a clean bowl and a box of Corn Flakes and douses them with milk and sits down next to me. I smiled at him and he smiled back.

About four hours later, eleven o'clock, Bill woke up. He was groggy and his hair was going everywhere. He spread his fingers through it and looked at me. He said if he had realized I was awake he would have never made it so obvious of his personality first thing in the morning.

For the third time in three days, I had caught the twins staring at me again. "Hey Ella," Tom called. "When's your birthday?"

"May 15th 1990. Why?"

"No reason." Perfect legal drinking age . . . well in my book.

"I'm going to take a shower," I said getting up. "Do you need the bathroom before I get in?"

"No. I'm fine for now."

I nodded and walked into the bathroom, which was absolutely beautiful even though it was probably one of the smallest ones I've ever been in. I grab a towel and hang it outside the shower as I get in, and I soon realize that we're going back to Clearwater soon and I get to see James again. We're making a final stop after Miami so we can get everything sorted out before we really go on the road.

I towel dried and pulled my hair out of the towel, letting the damp wet locks hang lightly above my shoulders. I quickly put on a pair of grey sweatpants and a white tank before I went back into the rest of the bus.

Bill, Gustav, and Georg are now sitting at the table eating their breakfast, and I reached into my pocket and pulled out my black cell phone.

"Hey guys," I said as I passed by the table, so I could sit in the lounge away from everyone else. I hate eavesdroppers.

"Hey," they all reply at the same time, before turning back to their breakfasts. I curl up in an extremely comfy chair, scroll through my contact list, and press send.

"Hello?"

"Hey James. It's Ella." I smiled at the sound of his voice. It was a little different not hearing from him.

"Ella? Hey. Could you call back later? Now isn't a good time." I am confused. James never tells me to call back when I call him, he is usually so excited when we talk. I suddenly hear another voice through the phone.

"Jamesie? Who is it? Come back over here . . . please?" A female voice.

"I'll be a minute. Just, go lay back down or something," James said in a voice that was not meant for me to hear. My eyes burn and I try to cover the angry shouts and curse words that are threatening to come forth.

"Ella? Are you still there? Look. I've got to go but when you come back in later we have to get together, okay? I love you sweetie."

"Bye. Love you." I said blankly.

All empty words.


	11. Crappy Vodka and Practical Jokes

Ŧ Tom.

I was one of the only ones up besides Ella, who was reading her book silently on the other side of the table as I sat and flipped through the channels. We have a calander in the back of the bus on one of the walls, and judging by the number of X's that Bill had scribbled on the little boxes counting the days, she had already been with us for about four or five weeks now for it was now February and we had already had about six shows. She made each one to remember and we got some amazing feedback.

Our first concert is when she met her new team and such, which was, unfortunately, made of all guys. Some I thought she would consider good looking, others were just attrocious. She didn't really need to talk to her team much while she was with us, when she gave them their instuctions, they listened. Fear of her catching them doing something wrong and chewing them out for it. It happened once or twice, and when it did, I stood by and laughed.

I also started noticing new little quirks that she had. Like that she always has her ipod in while she works or is writing. She keeps the volume up pretty loud, I'm guessing to try and drown out her team's vigorous and annoying gossip about when and how they banged their girlfriends. I also noticed, that when she was skipping through songs, her eyes went to the ceiling, as if looking for a specific one. If she finds one of her favorite songs, she drums her fingers on the side of a table, chair, or she bangs her pencil on the table top to the beat of the song.

Her outfits range from day to day, depending on what she feels like, so she said when Bill asked her. Yesterday she was wearing a pair of shorts, with a blue t-shirt the kind that fit to her body and she wore blue converse sneakers. Those she considered work clothes, since she was on the set half the day from noon to six. She kept her clothes unusually organized, consiering we have such small bunks and not very much space. The ones she already wore she keeps in a pile, and the ones that are clean she keeps in another. I sat one day just comparing Bill's bunk and hers for about five or ten minutes, trying to see how she can be so organized and he can't. Not that I can talk, my shit is everywhere.

Just yesterday Alex called and told us that we were allowed to give that small room in the back of the bus to her, saying that her bus wouldn't be there in time for the next show. She still hasn't moved her stuff in yet . . . oh . . .cause we didn't really tell her. Oops. Oh well, I'll tell her later.

There were a few problems with Ella staying with us. Problem 1: When we go out to clubs and such and I see a really hot slutty girl that I really wanna get with, and I take her back to the hotel, I always feel this droopy feeling in my stomach. Why? I got no fucking idea. Whenever I'm dancing with them or something, I always hear Ella and Bill laughing at something or I see her walk by to the table, or something else she does distracts me. I'm still having distracting wild sex no doubt, but every time I do . . . I feel like that feeling is weighing me down more and more.

Problem 2: I have never had trouble talking to a girl before. Ever. Not even when I was little, and according to Bill, I was a little player then too. But whenever I talk to Ella, or whenever I'm around her and just making small talk, I always say a little more than I plan. Don't ask me why, cause I have no idea either. It's like when your not supposed to tell a big secret, but it just slips out on accident. Like if I say something that I didn't really plan on, all she does is smile and laugh. Not really the reaction I planned on getting.

Problem 3: Ella is a woman, just like any other. She has everything. Curves, brains, a sense of humor, loyalty, craziness, she's honest, and really good looking. I mean _really _good looking. Probably better than all of the girls I've been with (so far). And sometimes the things she does . . . like, make me think of certain things I shouldn't. Perverted things I shouldn't be thinking. When she bent down to pick up something she dropped I more than once thought of touching her butt. When she bent forward over the table to grab something I just wanted to take her out of the room and lock us both in. Finally when she's at the club with us I've wanted nothing more than to go over and start grinding on her right then. I'm not a sex maniac, I know where and when the appropriate time is. But she just makes me so crazy . . . more crazy then ever before. I like her, no doubt about it. But I'm a little confused, about how much I like her.

It gets harder and harder to be around her. Sometimes, I don't even know what to say.

I finally got to a channel that I liked after much channel surfing, it was Comedy Central. It was Scrubs so I sat, watched, and enjoyed. Everyonce in a while, Ella would look up from her book and look at her watch, as if she was timing something. I couldn't help but laugh.

I felt something hit the side of my head about thirty minutes into the Scrubs marathon. I put my hand to the side of my head and pulled out a large gooey spitball from my face. I turned to see Ella laughing uncontrollably, her book on the floor and clutching her sides as she watched me remove the spitball.

"You son of a-" I threatened, but I couldn't even finish, I was interrupted by Ella's laughter. It seems like that's all she can do at the moment. Ella moved over next to me and pointed a finger at the side of my face still laughing and now snorting. She stopped and calmed herself down and crossed her legs under the table, staring up at me.

"You asshole." Was all I could say as I threw the spitball somewhere in the room. Hopefully no one will find it. Or sit on it.

Ella started laughing again as soon as I said that and she clutched her stomach and rolled over onto the edge of the seat.

"Sorry. My book was getting boring, had to make my own entertainment." She teased as she sat up again and looked at me wide eyed.

"Yeah, spitball on my face, that's entertainment?" I asked rubbing the side where the spitball hit and she tried to hold in a laugh.

"I thought it was funny." Ella smirked and shrugged her shoulders.

"I can see that." I said looked down at her and then we both stopped and stared for a minute the silence was then broken by our laughter and I doubled over and leaned my head down onto the table and tried to calm down, while Ella leaned back against the chair and sighed.

"So, I never really got to ask, how do you like it here?" I asked nudgeing her as I sat back up and saw that she had stopped.

"It's been . . . interesting. It's like . . . ummm . . . I can't think of a comparison, but if I could it would be good. Will you settle for it's awesome?"

"Sweet. That's good to know.'' I leaned back and turned off the TV, throwing the remote on the chair next to me with a thud.

"Oh, so, do you like that I'm here?" She asked looking over at me with a smile.

I laughed. "It's great that they let you stay with us. Course, Bill pulled some strings, but it's great. I know the others are happy too."

"I just hope they don't move me or anything. I like it here." She stated, pulling her knees up to her chest as she put her chin on them.

"Nah . . . we wouldn't let them, besides, we _are_ friends, right?" I asked raising an eyebrow and looking over at her. I hope to God that we're friends. It would make things damn easier if we were. I think of us as best friends, well in my mind.

"Are we?" Ella laughed, picking her head up and leaning back against the chair again.

"Totally. BFFs." I said nudging her again. She really was starting to be just like one of us, one of the guys and yet, she's still a girl. Not like that girly girl type thing, but a girl, a normal girl. I glanced down and picked up my guitar that was laying next to me and I set it in my lap and started strumming random things. First I started the few riffs to Ready, Set, Go! Then I totally jumped into Monsoon and I kept on switching songs, wanting to play them all.

"How long have you been playing?" I perked up and I saw Ella leaning her head on her knees again, looking at my guitar in my lap curiously.

"Since I was . . . 7? I think."

"Wow."

"What? Thats not that long." I laughed. I did, I started when I was around seven years old and I've been playing ever since.

"What are you talking about? Your 19 now. Thats eleven years already. Thats awesome, you can't say that isn't a long time."

"Yeah well, how long have you been drawing and doing whatever you do?" I smirked as I looked down at her and she smiled up at me.

"Not sure. I guess from as long as I could write. I dont know, I think my drawings are _okay,_ but not that great. You look at half the artists and graphics out there today an-"

"You have amazing talent." I said, interrupting her rant. She does and she knows it. She just showed my her portfolio like three days ago and all of it is amazing. The colors and the shapes and designs, the stuff she comes up with is beautiful. She has that true talent, like Bill does when he sings, he creates masterpieces.

"Uh . . . Danke." Ella looked at me and she caught me staring right at her. Again. "W-what's wrong?"

"Hm? Oh . . . nothing." I quickly turned away realizing that I was staring and I sighed. Woah now Tom, what are you doing? Its just Ella. Calm down. Don't stare. I looked at Ella once again, looking her up and down quickly so that she wouldn't see. I shook my head to snap out of my little daze I was in. What am I doing?

"You okay?" Ella asked looking down at me while I put my head in my hands and sighed big.

"Huh? Y-yeah fine." I muttered through my fingers.

"Not very convincing."

"Really, I'm okay. Just a headache." I lie so bad. "I need a drink. Real bad." I got up quickly moving my guitar, walking over to our mini fridge, pulling out a bottle of vodka. I reached up into our cupboards grabbing two glasses and I swiftly filled them with ice. Thinking that she wanted one too.

"Make that two." Ella said running her hands through her hair and sighing. Bingo, I was right.

I brought over two glasses and filled them to their tops with the vodka. I set the bottle on the table and handed her a glass and sat back down next to her. She took a large gulp and I did right after, watching as she put the glass to her head and closing her eyes.

"Sorry, this is the cruddy kind. Bill went to the store and he bought it, not really thinking." I said setting my glass on the table. She smiled and chuckled, setting her glass next to mine.

"You let Bill buy the Vodka? Are you insane?" She laughed. "But there's a certain thing you think about when you buy it?" I nodded and took another sip, setting the glass on the table with a clunk.

"One: How much you need to get drunk off your ass, or just extremely buzzed, and which kinds will get you to either one of those states the fastest." I held up my pointer finger, and she smiled at me behind the rim of her glass.

"Two: What you will be getting drunk for. What is your reasoning behind this drink?" I asked as I held up my glass off the table and eyed her quickly. There I go again, I seriously have to stop or my body is not going to even think and it's gonna do something it's not supposed to.

Ella smiled again and started to think hard. I know my reason, what's yours? "Well, if it helps, I'm just having a drink for the hell of it." She laughed and I gulped down my last bit, and I could feel the slight touch of the ice against my lips as I consumed my last drop. I grabbed the bottle, but her hands were too quick for me as I saw her grab the bottle right before my hands could even touch it. She filled her glass again and I handed her mine, not wanting to do the work if I don't have to.

"Relationships are my reasoning. Right now, I hate mine." She raised her glass in the air and I raised my arm with my glass in it and I clinked hers. I watched closely, could she take as much as me? I kept on drinking until about half my glass was gone then I slammed it loudly down on the table, huffing and waitng to see hers. She set it down gently, her vodka level slightly under mine. Damn, she got more in.

"Relationships? I thought yours was great with whats-his-name?" I said, taking a small drink and setting my glass back on the table. It seemed like she was really happy with her boyfriend, she called him every other day and talked to him for about a half an hour or so. I don't really see what's going wrong, but if something is, good old me will be always be here for her. A shoulder to cry on if you will.

"You kidding, I don't know about whats-his-face anymore." She said taking another big drink. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Ella look over at the clock on the microwave and she cursed under her breath, and sighed a deep sigh. I watched cauciously, looking as her chest moved up and down slowly.

"Shit it's like one in the morning. I had better head in, I'm gonna be way too tired tomorrow." Ella laughed standing up rubbing her head and she turned to me as she was about to walk into the bunk area. "Night."

"Wait!" I said holding the bottle of vodka as I got up, not wanting to knock it over, looking at her as she whirled around to me again.

"Something wrong?"

I have no idea what's going on with me, but for some reason, I just don't want her to leave me alone. Or leave the room without me there with her.

"Its . . . it's only one." I pointed out.

"Yeah . . . that's my limit during the week. We both have to get up tomorrow too." Ella looked at me raising an eyebrow. "Whats wrong with you tonight? I always head in at this time, plus we were drinking."

"Ja . . . never mind."

She probably noticed my face was flushed, because next I got this.

"Maybe you should get some sleep too or stop with the vodka. You look sick." Ella finished as she exited the room and went to the bedroom and I heard her crawl in.

I watched as she did and I went and sat back down at the table, moving my guitar and putting it back into my case over on the other chair and I put the cap on the bottle on the table.

"Shit." I cursed as I sat down and put a pillow up to my face to muffle my vocie as I spoke out loud. "Ugh . . . What _is_ wrong with me?"


	12. Unexpected

Ŧ Ella.

Today is the two month mark. I thought that I could describe all of my experiences here in one word, but I can't. The people I work with are amazing, and listen to me very well. At first they all had a little hard time about taking orders from me, but Bill had a word with them and all of my teams are working perfectly in sync with one another. Not wanting to piss me or Bill off. Everything has just been mind blowing.

I got up this morning and walked out in my pjs, not caring if anyone sees me. They've seen my pjs lot of times. Naturally, I get up earlier than everyone else so I walk into an empty room. I sighed and went to get something to eat, but now I have a sudden longing for my bunk, so I think I'm going to go back. I walked back quickly, since the bus was now in motion and we were rocking back and forth.

I sat on my bunk and then laid back down again, pulling the curtain over so that no light would get in. It's too early. Wow, it's like seven and I just now realize it's early? I sighed and tried to go back to sleep. Dreaming, sleeping, same thing. There was a loud pacing noise and I opened one of my eyes. Okay, besides Gustav and the bus driver, who on earth is up this early? I sighed and got up, wrapping my cold sheets around my shoulders and I just sat there and curled up into a ball. I knew everyone else was in their bunks, since all of their curtains were closed.

I stayed perfectly still and I listened for anymore noises that might tell me who the hell is up. I don't really know what I'm gonna do after I find out who it is, but all I know is I'm sure as hell going to find out! I listened, hearing the engine and the tire of the bus as we hit some bumps and went too far out of the lane. You know how it makes those bumpy sounds? I rubbed my eyes and I blinked a little more, there's still a little sleep in my eyes.

I listened a little more, and I finally heard something.

"Stop it! What is wrong with you?" The voice yelled in a whisper, and then I heard like somebody slapped them or hit themselves vigoriously in the forehead, or what I thought was in the forehead. He was up out in the lounging area, and I heard some dishes clink in the sink quickly before I heard the patter of footsteps.

"Ugh . . . Dammit." I heard him still as he passed the bunks, not wanting to wake anyone else up besides me. I sighed and slid over to the edge of the bed, waiting for whoever was going to knock on my bunk.

I heard a quiet knocking and I stilled for a second in mid motion. Hmmmm . . . I can't get back to sleep, and nothing else is happening, so, why not take a peek? My sheets slid on the bunk as I got up and I held them tight with my painted nails as I moved the curtain over to find Tom, standing there in front of me in his pajama pants eagerly rubbing his hands together. I stood up and walked over to the bathroom and stood in front of the door, I had more space where I could move around.

"Tom what the hell are you doing? Bill and the others are gonna wake up soon-"

I didn't even get to finish my sentence, I was stopped by Tom, who had backed me into the door frame and kissed me. His hands caught my face and he held it softly. He broke the random kiss after a few seconds, releasing his hands from my face and he looked down at me.

I paused, registered what had happened and instantly smacked him across the face, causing him to groan. Reflex. It's not my fault that the kiss was so random, it's like when someone grabs you from behind, you have that feeling that you need to fight back. Well, I was grabbed, not from behind, and kissed and at first I didn't know what was happening, so that explains why I slapped him. Yeah, I think that's a good reason. Or, it could be it was just an accident. It didn't even register in my mind that I actually hit him until he yelled. Then I went crazy.

"Ow, what the hell was that for?" He yelled, holding his cheek and looking at me with soft eyes.

"You kissed me!" I said wrapping the sheets around my arms and putting my hands on my hips.

"And?" Tom asked, rubbing his cheek.

"Dont!" I hissed, not wanting to wake anybody else up and having them see this scene.

"Why?"

"Cause."

"That didn't answer the question."

"Just don't do it."

Tom blinked in confusion at me, and I turned and looked over his shoulder to make sure nobody else was up.

"Sorry, I don't know what I'm doing." Tom finally admitted, looking down at the floor and then back at me, obviously embarrassed. Ugh! I so don't need this right now. Alex is going to get on my case and not to mention Bill! I can just imagine now what he'd say if he finds out, or what the others will say.

"Obviously. But you _can't _do what you were just trying to do." I shot back quietly and he looked up at me quickly.

"Why? I mean, we kissed before and you didn't seem to mind that. Is it 'cause we work together?" Tom raised his voice in annoyance as he moved closer to me. I could tell he was angry and now I know that he's definately used to getting what he wants. It's just . . . until I know that James is actually cheating on me, then we can't be together. He's off limits.

"No. I mean, well . . . that's part of it . . . " I started to try and explain my problem to him and the sheet dropped to the floor as I moved my arms out in front of me.

"Okay. So, you don't like that kind of thing?" Tom backed away and I touched his arm and shook my head, not wanting him to leave.

"No, no. Its not that."

"You just said that was part of it." Tom raised an eyebrow at me and I sighed.

"Well, yeah but _I_ dont have a problem with it, its just . . . "

"What the hell are you talking about? Your confusing me. Damn hangover." Tom rubbed the back of his head and shrugged his shoulders and I crossed my arms over my blue tank top. I slept in pjs, they were just blue pj pants and a tank top. I get hot sometimes when I sleep and I toss and turn a lot too. Wearing that is the coolest, especially in this cramped compact bus.

"I'm sorry. You just have to understand that we . . . well, we cant."

"Jesus Ells . . . I can't help anything . . . It's wierd . . . I've never ever, ugh . . . never before and I just . . . I dunno . . . and I can't . . . . . . . . God! Fuck this hangover and all alcohol!" He admitted as he brought his hands up to cover his face in embarrasment.

"Don't say that." I said leaning forwards towards him.

"Believe me I don't get it at all. Your all I think about, your the only person I want to spend my time with . . . That's the only explanation, right?"

"Tom stop." I said putting a hand up to try and signal that I wanted him to just stop talking.

"Dammit! Ella why are doing this to me?" Tom grabbed me by my shoulders and shook me a little, almost trying to shake the answers out of me and I felt my hair go back and forth as I felt a little wind when he shook me.

"Cause . . . cause I feel the same way . . . Kinda . . . " I answered lowly.

"The why don-"

"Cause you'll get hurt. Look, your like one of the only real friends I have. I feel like I could tell you anything. And I like you, just trust me . . . but you'll get hurt if your with me." More like I'm afraid that _I'll_ get hurt, I'm not all that worried about him.

"Wha-?" He was struggling with his words and I sighed leaning my head against the doorframe.

"Tom, the media would be all over this, us, you guys, the band. Besides, Alex told me that I would get fired if I didn't keep this professional. Remember? That's the thing, I don't want to get fired Tom, I really like this job and I want to stay here, with you guys." I don't know what to do and I have no idea what to say to him.

"And what would James say if he found out about it? He'd flip out on me!" I whispered.

This is so confusing, I want to be with him, but the problem is, we can't. He sighed and walked away, not saying a word to me and then he turned around in the middle of the bus and sighed loud and angerly.

"I get it. Just, forget I even said anything." I wish I could, but the thing is, I just can't.

I don't think I ever will.


	13. Cluster Fuck

Ŧ Tom.

Okay, it's been almost three months since Ella came to stay with us and it has been awesome. She's starting to blend in, she even kicked Gustav's butt playing video games last night. She totally beat Georg in a burping contest and she's starting to feel like a little sister to all of us and a little like a mother as well.

I heard from Gustav that one of the crew members tried to flirt with her yesterday and Bill was right up in his face, along with himself and Georg. She's very close to us now, even after just little over two months. We all are growing very attached to our little Ella, and she makes every show of ours amazing.

Bill is suggesting all of our ideas to her, and she usually takes them to heart, making her team work endlessly on what we want. Just to make us happy.

Ella had been amazing, but there was something else. I'm so stupid! I don't even know why I kissed her anyways, I mean, like I said, she's starting to be like a mother/sister to us all. But not to me. I know that I like her, hell she even knows that I like her. She can come to me whenever she needs me, and I'm always gonna be there. I just need to show her that I really do like her more than she thinks and knows that I do.

Luckily, tonight the rest of the boys were trying to get me to go out with them. We were still in L.A. not that I was complaining. I'm all one for a party, but I feel the need to try and explain my point again with Ella.

Ella was sitting at the table watching TV and playing with her MP3 player when I stopped in the doorway. She had been in a bad mood lately, and I didn't really want to test her, but I walked over with high hopes. Probably all edgy cause it was _that time _of the month or something, but I still didn't want to take any chances_. _

"Hey." I said as I slid next to her at the table and she turned and looked at me.

"Hey, what's up?" She asked putting her hair behind her ear, concentrating on what she was doing.

"Nothin, I was just wondering what you and Bill were talking about the other day." She and Bill had become awfully close and I can't stand it. Yesterday he was talking to her for a whole hour and he didn't even get up or anything. I couldn't really over hear what they were saying, but I just watched and it made me sick.

Bill wasn't the type of person to steal away a girl when he knew his twin liked her, his _older_ twin. I just had to ask, the question was just burning on the tip of my tongue.

"Oh, that, Bill and I were just discussing the new design plans for the stage on your next concert. Why? Is something wrong?" She got up and walked over to the TV and turned it off, then turned around to face me, her arms crossed while she held her player in one hand.

"Nein, nein, just wondering, that's all." I stated as I got up and walked down the hallway, stopping to turn back and look at her.

Arching one eyebrow at me and shifting her weight onto one hip, striking that cocky pose of hers, Ella smirked a wicked smirk at me.

"Jealous . . . " She started, moving closer to me until I could feel her warm breath on my ear, making me squirm. "Are you jealous of Bill and me? Huh, Tom?" She said quietly, whispering only my name into my ear, sending shivers through my body. _Every_ part of my body, if you get my drift.

Ella let loose a loud shriek of surprise as I frantically pushed her away from me in order to stop anything from "developing." I remembered what she said that time, that we couldn't be together. When she was distracted, I yanked the MP3 from her hand, hugging it close to my chest in an effort to keep it away from her. Since she was shorter than me by a little, I decided to do the meanest thing. I just put my arm straight up in the air and held it above her head.

"Give. It. BACK!" Ella screamed as she lunged forward to pounce on me, tackling me to the floor, me landing on my back with a loud "oof." The MP3 was still tightly enclosed in my hand, though my arm had been pulled away from my chest by her meaningless efforts.

"Nein!" I chuckled out as soon as I got my breath back. Oh how I loved seeing her angry face, filled with frustration.

By this point in time, Ella had climbed on top of me to completely straddle me. I couldn't go anywhere. I was pinned completely underneath her. Not that I was complaining. My breathing was getting quicker and all I could think about was how badly I wanted to fuck my sister-like friend.

I am losing it, my mind was numbing as my carnal instincts began to take me over. I couldn't take it any longer. I like to say I'm "smooth," but this definitely wasn't my finest moment. As I had reached up, intending to pull Ella down to my waiting lips, my hand slipped and Ella's new MP3 player went out the open window. We both sat upright immediately; my actions taking more effort because of the extra weight on my lower half. Our jaws slowly dropped at the same time as her precious mp3 was smashed by a passing semi-truck in the parking lot. Immediately, I knew I was in deep shit.

Now, I can't remember much after that. Perhaps it was because all that came out of Ella's mouth were a series of loud, frustrated screams, confirming my utter damnation. Or maybe it was because all I felt was the sharp pain of her fists making contact with my body, showing her rage quite accurately.

What I do remember though, is the look on her face the whole time. It was a look that threatened to take her innocence. It was extremely painful to see that look on her face; even more painful to know that I had caused it.

I let her continue to take her anger with me out on my body until she was exhausted. The screaming had continued through it all. I didn't care one bit if it hurt; at least her hands were on me. As long as she touched me, I was happy.

When she was finally done, panting because of her "workout," her voice hoarse from the screaming, she just fell back onto the floor. I tried my best to shift so I could get a glimpse of her. She was absolutely livid. Now I'm kinda scared to be honest.

I let out a loud groan, clutching my stomach with both hands, rolling around in agony on the floor. My lip and parts of my face were bloodstained. What killed me most was Ella's silence. I was more than used to her violent side now, she had gotten mad once or twice before. But always after, we'd laugh like sick hyenas. Now she was only silent.

I kept moaning as the aftershock pain of the attack still affected me. Coughing as the pain slowly started to ease up on me, I managed to maneuver into a half-sitting position, carefully biting a non-injured part of my lip to distract me from the pain.

"Uh . . . Fuck . . . God Ella, why didn't you just fucking castrate me too?" I whined. I could have sworn I saw a half smile on her face as she stood up and knelt down over me, her hand immediately disappearing into my pocket, searching viciously.

"Ella!" I yelped as I felt her hand rummage around, violating me in every way I had hoped for. My face flushed and I swear I had either passed out or was in some of my best dreams. "W-What are you d-d-doing?!" I squeaked out in a high pitch shakily, hoping I was still alive. If she kept that up for a few more seconds I swear she would have found something.

Satisfied, Ella pulled her hand out of my pocket, my wallet clutched in her hand. Oh come on God, why are you fucking with me? I groaned in defeat, sadly my prayers had not been answered as I desperately hoped. Perhaps I was in hell. That sounded fitting at least . . . Wait . . . my wallet?!

"What the hell, Ella?! Why did you take my-"

"Thanks in advance." She said coldly, the lack of emotion in her voice making my heart ache.

I swallowed hard.

"For . . . ?"

"You're about to buy me a new MP3 player. The most expensive one I can fucking find, Tom-ass!" She calmly got out before yelling the last part, stalking out of the bus.

I groaned once more and fell back to a laying position on my mattress, my head smacking into the wall of my bunk.

"You think you're _so_ funny, don't you?" I moaned out, cursing up at the sky as I rubbed my head.

That cursing didn't even compare to what followed once realization hit me. After Ella had gone out with my wallet, I wanted to comfort myself by looking over a few . . . personal items. Mostly pictures of Ella and Bill and I with, "Liebe" written on the back that we took at one of the many malls we stopped at. Hey, we were bored and I thought it was hilarious, but those stories are for another time.

I went to go into my wallet to find one of the pictures I have and I put my hand in my pocket before remembering that my wallet was in the very hands of the one person who I least wanted to see it.

"FUCK! Oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God . . ." I screamed out, my ribs hurting from the earlier beating that I had more than willingly taken.

Starting to hyperventilate, I scrambled painfully to get back to my feet, pacing around the bus. Why do I keep such personal things in my wallet? My wallet is always on me, there is no chance of getting it away from me . . . or so I thought.

"Nein . . . nein . . . nein . . . NEIN! THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING!" I screamed painfully at the top of my lungs, falling face first into my pillow, letting out strangled sobs.

I'm assuming that I fell asleep because a few hours later, I woke up, my face full of mattress. I could hear that the TV was on.

"Ella . . . " I silently mouthed, feeling horror shake me to the core.

It had to be Ella because she was the only other person who wasn't at the club, and the bus driver was out for a while doing God knows what.

It's safe to say that I was a bit more than terrified but I slowly ventured out into the living room. My body was sore, swollen, and bruised, yet at the same time, it tasted a little like bliss. I froze the second I saw her, limping my way over to the table, sitting down next to her. Now I wouldn't be lying when I say that my heart plummeted when I saw her squirm a barely-visible inch away from me. I could have shoved a knife through my heart at that second, had she not swung her legs up onto the chair, a very small distance away from my thigh.

I am always quick to judge I guess, especially with Ella, and even more so once I knew I liked her. Any movement that girl made sent my mind reeling; demanding for an explanation on the spot.

"Listen Ella, I-" I started, shutting up when her hand raised, cutting me off.

"Don't Tom. I realized that it was an accident. I got a new one." She said, flashing me a brilliant smile as she held up the fancy, new replacement player.

"Ugh. How much did that cost me?" I groaned loudly, my head falling onto her shoulder.

Blinking at me, she studied my face. Ella shook her head, her smile fading quickly, much to my disarray. I could feel my heart start to ache as I looked away from her, keeping my head where it was out of plain exhaustion. I was in too much pain to move.

"Nothing. I used my own money. I've wanted one for a while now so I figured it wouldn't be fair to make you pay." She said quietly. Oh thank God. So she hadn't seen my always pocketed little note . . .

"Oh . . . Damn right!" I agreed, trying to regain my lost composure.

"Actually, that's kinda not true . . . " She almost whispered. At this moment, crude words and curses were stringing themselves together in my head. Forming one big line. Or as Dane Cook would say, a cluster fuck. Yeah, I watched him once, he was pretty good.

I was speechless, engrossed in the possibilities that may have exited her lips.

"What's this?" She sighed out slowly, holding up the picture of her I had stashed in my wallet.

My heartbeat quickened to an unfathomed pace. The palms of my hands started to get sweaty as I started to get incredibly nervous. I immediately removed my head from her shoulder, backing up to get a good look at what was in her hand. Sure enough, there was a picture of her in between her hands. I tried to act as innocent as possible.

"I don't know what the hell you're talking about." I got out defensively. Okay, I realize that I wasn't too convincing but I had to try somehow.

"Its me, Tom. I was in your wallet." She spoke slowly, as if trying to convince not only me, but herself.

"Why's that in my wallet. I told you I don't know what the hell you're talking about."

"Tom-ass, why was I in your fucking wallet?!" She screamed at me, obviously annoyed, throwing my wallet at me. When it hit, I have to admit that it sure as hell hurt, but not as much as her words. I gasped and rubbed my head, looking down. I didn't know if she meant it or not but her words stung.

"Y-You . . . ?" I half whimpered out, trying my hardest not to cry. Well hell, I knew I was strong emotionally but God, Ella. Way to fucking rip out my heart and put it in a blender and hit crush.

"Well I-" She started before the door opened and inside came our bus driver.

I refused to look up at him as I grabbed my wallet, ripping the notes out of Ella's hands and quickly getting up from the table, rushing to the empty room that would soon be Ella's. I slammed the door and locked it immediately. With my back to the door, I slowly slid down it until I hit the floor, letting out a soundless cry as the tears fell from my eyes. "Tom-ass" was something she often used on me. It was something she always called me when we fought or disagreed but now it had a new meaning.

I slowly crawled my way to the middle of the room, collapsing face first onto the carpet. All I did was just lie there, trying but failing to keep the tears from pouring out of my eyes. I remained in that position long after the tears had dried up, my face just straight into the carpet, my eyes tightly closed, and my whole body sprawled out randomly.

After the bus driver left a few hours later, to my shock, I heard a knock on the door. I groaned in reply, my face still shoved into the carpet. Ella hesitantly walked in and I shifted my head so I could see with one eye. All I saw were her feet, followed by the rest of her as she sat down right next to me, sighing heavily. I frowned and rolled over onto my back before sitting up slowly, glaring into her eyes.

"What do you want with me? Tom-ass doesn't feel like talking to you." I spat out at her.

"Tom I-" She started.

"You what? You think it's funny to throw those words around right now?!" I yelled at her, still glaring.

"Tom I didn't mean it like that! You of all people know that I say that shit without thinking!" She retorted.

I shook my head and looked away from her, crossing my arms over my chest. Letting out a frustrated sigh, I turned to look at her. Her face was a cross between apologetic and something else I couldn't quite make out. When her eyes met my own, she sighed the same frustrated sigh I had let out a minute or so earlier.

"I didn't mean it, okay? I ALWAYS call you that. I'm sorry, okay?" She sighed out as if it had been rehearsed. She had been calling me that a lot lately, probably because I have been bugging her about us I didn't really mind, it just hurt so much now.

"It wouldn't hurt if you actually meant it. Now I'm _really _left out in the open with how I feel about you. Worse than before." I frowned, standing up, moving towards the door to exit the room.

As soon as I was about to exit the room, her hand wrapped around my left ankle, causing me to trip and fall. Luckily I fell to my knees and not on my face. I shook my leg continuously, trying to free it from her grasp. It was pointless as with each shake, she held my leg tighter. I turned around to flash her another glare. My heart was slowly splitting in half and it felt like she wanted the front row seat. I finally gave up on escaping from her, her hand still wrapped tightly around my left ankle, not easing up one bit.

"Is it not enough for you to hurt me emotionally? Do you have to keep going until I'm broken all over?!" I yelled at her, louder than I ever have, struggling to hold back my cries. The shock on her face was more than evident.

She slowly released her hand; the second look on her face was shocking. It was a look that I had hoped would show on her face. She grabbed my wrists and pulled me upright and looked me straight in the eye.

"_Seriously_? Tom, its just a picture, I'm not mad."" She quietly stated.

"I thought we already established this. When I said that stuff that one time." I sighed out, not sure if the look on her face was true or not. By one time, I was referring to that morning that I had a really bad hangover from the night before.

She looked at me hesitantly before looking away. Her face turned a soft shade of pink and I tried so hard to stop myself but I couldn't help but brush the back of my fingers across her cheek. Ella turned her eyes back to me, blinking in shock. She didn't turn away or slap me! This is good, we're making progress! I quickly took the opportunity and slowly pressed my lips to hers, and she pressed back. Finally. This time it was better than all the others.

"I'm sorry Tom . . . I shouldn't have . . . done that . . . " She said sighing and pulling away slowly. Nein! Nein! Nein! This was all going so well! This isn't good . . . Not going according to my plans. She got up and walked to the door, and turned around. She looked at me with sorrow in her eyes, then she just . . . walked away.

She always walks away.


	14. Late Night Confessions

Seven nights later. One AM.

Ŧ Tom.

I had basically forgotten everything . . . or tried to forget. Ella and I had a little talk, we have to keep our relationship professional and we could be friends. I added the 'for now' at the end of her speech. This James guy was definately cheating on her, and she was still thinking, or trying not to think that he was. I know what she's going through, but she doesn't exactly turn down the volume of her cell phone. I can sometimes hear every word that he says as clear as day. I just sit close enough and pretend to distract myself while she talks. I can't stand that she's getting everything done to her. He's hurting her, and I can't say anything about it. Then she'd know I was eavesdropping . . . . listening . . . either way she'd know. So we went back to the way things were, being good friends, even though I am dying to be more.

I cloed my eyes tight, sleep about to finally set in when my slumber was distured by a slight whine and I felt a petite arm sling itself across my torso with a "thump". I stirred, and I turned a bit on my side to see whoever it was. Bill usually did this to me at night, whenever he'd have a really scary dream, or when he'd just miss home. He would crawl in with me and I'd comfort him. I blinked in the darkness, trying to make out who it was.

"Ella?" I murmured sleepily.

"Tom," Ella stared at me with wide eyes. "Tom I can't sleep." She tried to just lay there, but I pushed her back a little. I really don't need another Bill on this bus. We were moving, no doubt and I could now slightly feel the bus under us as we lay.

"Come on Ells, go back to your own bed."

"But Tom! I just . . . I just can't sleep!" I really did try to move her from my twin sized bunk- which was ironically big enough to only fit one person.

"Just close your eyes and lay. Come on Ella, you're how old?" I pushed her a little farther away, not wanting to do anything stupid. She huffed and got up standing beside my bunk, fumbling with the hem of her pjs.

I heard her sniff a little in the darkness. "Tom, please? Just this once?" She sniffed again, and I sighed angerly. What could possibly keep her up at night? It's not like she had to play a concert the next day or anything like I did, so what the fuck? I thought girls were supposed to keep things to themselves.

"Crawl in with Bill! He likes consoling girls." I retorted, annoyed at having my precious sleep interrupted.

I heard her shuffle her feet in the darkness, sniffing again. "Bill sleeps like a fucking rock, Tom." I mumbled in agreement, remembering all the times I tried to wake him up. Ugh, he does sleep like a rock.

She sniffed once more "Please Tom. Come on, just this one time?"

I gave in, resistance was futile against her, she would fake cry like that for hours, plus she was just too damn cute. I scooted over as much as I could in my small bed without crushing myself into the wall. "Get in."

She sighed, throwing her weight down onto the mattress and receiving a tiny frustrated glare from me. "Danke Tom."

"Mhm, ja . . . " I answered, my reply muffled by the pillow I had immidiately sunk my head into. I was quickly drifting back into sleep suprisingly, not quite registering how close Ella was to me. She was pressed up against my side, her hand resting on the small of my back.

"Why can't you sleep anyways?" I griped, trying to shrug off the feeling of heat radiating from her hand through my thin material of my white undershirt. Not entirely uncomfortable.

"I dunno . . . just couldn't get to sleep . . . " Ella spoke in such a small voice I could barely hear her.

"Way to be spacific."

"I guess I just have a lot on my mind." She spoke in the dark.

"Just clear everything out!" I spat. "Close your eyes."

She whimpered, her hand balling into a fist where she grasped my shirt. "You just don't get it, it's not that easy to just empty everything out! You so don't have all the stress I do!"

I sighed, reaching around to grad Ella's hand from my back and I pried it loose from the fabric. "You're over-tired. Just stop thinking. It'll be okay, trust me."

"You're a rock too."

I could hear the fake tears in her voice and it kind of made my heart ache. Not that I was falling for the real tears. She needs to learn that it's okay to not think about things, to just set them aside. "Ella, you don't need to think all the time." I spoke, trying to make my voice a little softer. "It's okay to put things off."

Ella sighed, grabbing my extra pillow and held onto it tight. "I have to think sometimes Tom, and I can't put everything off." I looked at her, seeing a real tear fall from her eyes. "You're my friend, you're supposed to help me here."

I turned my head from where it was buried in my own pillow to look at her again. My stomach churned and I sat up to turn on my light on the ceiling of my bunk. "Ella, come on, don't cry." I pulled her up by her shoulders and I hugged her to my chest. She choked into my collar and I crossed my arms around her back.

"Shh, don't cry. I'm sorry, now," I felt Ella tremble a little when I snaked my hand through her hair. "Come on, it's okay." I pulled a strand of her hair playfully, trying to soothe her and calm her down.

"You'll survive." I suggested, eliciting a small laugh from her before she choked again on her tears. I ran my free hand gently down her back, wondering if I can get any sleep in. Seemed very unlikely. "Come on, you have to get up tomorrow, ja?" I laughed and I heard Ella whimper.

Her crying finally ceased, and her body stopped shaking and I held in a sigh of relief. "Yeah, I do." Ella spoke, answering quietly. "Sorry for bothering you."

I nodded, and I slowly eased her out of my arms and prompted her to lie down. "Ist fine, but we sleep now." I turned out the light and lay facing her. After about five minutes or so we both had moved and Ella's face was now buried against my collarbone.

I didn't argue her position, and neither did she. "You're really warm Tom." I heard her whisper as she tried to fall asleep. I raised my head an inch to look at her before reluctantly draping my arm around her waist, pulling her closer. "You're really freezing." I said quietly.

I fidgeted unnervingly. I want to hold her like this, but when we're awake. I wasn't supposed to be holding her like this while shes sleeping, and more-so, it wasn't supposed to be in this cramped little bunk. Ella's breath was hot against my neck and I twitched a little, my eyes fluttering closed as sleep began to set in again.

"Tom?"

"Hmmm?"

"Your voice makes me tired." I felt Ella nudge her cheek against my jaw and I smiled.

"Danke? S'no problem, just tell me what I can do to help you sleep." I mumbled, trying to turn my head away.

"Just talk, and listen to me. Those are the two best things."

I couldn't help it, I bit back a little of my pride and kissed Ella softly on the forehead. I lingered a little longer than comfort permitted, but giving her no excuse to complain. I don't think she even felt it.

I gasped then as Ella's thigh brushed across my crotch. "Stop moving," I said softly, trying not to snap at her. She opened her eyes and stared at him in confusion, tossing once more before laying still as she heard me moan lightly. I swallowed, color slowly creeping to my cheeks. "Ells, move your leg."

I guess she realized that she had one leg through mine, and I was currently trying to hide an erection, difficult as it was pressed up against her leg. "Oh . . ." I blushed even harder, trying to nicely push her away. But Ella resisted, instead pressing her hips against mine.

"Ells . . . '' She ground her hips forward more, rubbing against me." Ells, c-come on, move your leg . . . _please." _

"I'm sorry, here, "

She fanned her hands across my hips and ground hard into me once more. "Stop." I half moaned, half yelled at her, while shuddering at the feel of her body pressed against me through my pajama pants. I tried to twist and move away, but I couldn't move. I bit my lip, my mind suddenly blanking at the delicious way she was pressing up against me. "God, stop . . . Ella . . . "

She didn't pay any attention to me, instead, she rubbed against me more.

"I-I'm sorry . . . It's just the sheet . . .it's caught on my foot."

"Welll move it, it can't be that stuck." I began, regretting the joke when she added to the friction between us. "Oh God."

"I'm s-sorry - . . . I j-just-.. cant- . . . it's still stuck." I could feel the heat in my stomach.

"Here, I'll help you." I began to respond, pushing back against her slightly. This was not how she normally acted, and I began searching around under the sheets for her leg.

"Okay, it's right there." Ella stopped and stilled against me, staring across the darkness as I helped her pull her leg out between the tangled sheets.

"There, is that better?" I felt her curl up against me and closed her eyes. "Yeah, danke Tom."

I stared at her through the darkness. "Good. Sleep."

Ella shook her head. ''Okay."

I closed my eyes, feeling the exhaustion spread throughout my body. Sleep seemed dangerously close as I listened to Ella's heartbeat for a few minutes.

"'Night Ells."

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End file.
